IM COMING HOME with a baby!!!!!!!

Wow, I can't believe I've been here for 9 months, enough time to have had a Japanese baby. In fact, my ability to speak and write Japanese was born here, so I guess I DID have a Japanese baby. My ability is still pretty much babbling babytalk, but like any 9 month old, I can understand ALOT more than I can express. And I always understand the emotional undercurrents, since I have had to become adept at nonverbal communication to survive. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited to come home!!!

Japanese Flag

The morning turns on gradually, like soft lamplight, in the Land of the Rising Sun, without any fanfare, and without the famous "Rising Sun" I expected. It's in the evening that the sun chooses to show its splendor. It doesn’t selfishly unfold its beauty in the early morning while everyone is still asleep, but it waits for the right time. It waits for evening when people are coming home and need to be woken up again and renewed from the business of the day. It is the Setting Sun that gathers up its light into a deep orange egg yolk to begin its long descent, becoming more and more red as it goes down. Just before it slides off the sky, it is the brightest orange red, getting ready to crack open on the other side of the world. Maybe it should be called Land of the Setting Sun. Is this orange-red egg yolk really the same sun that you see on the other side of the world?

The Twelve Days of Japanese Omiyage

On the 1st day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
A wrapped package of green tea.

On the 2nd day I realize I am going back to America
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 3rd day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 4th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 5th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 6th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 7th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 8th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Eight toilet seats a'warming,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 9th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Nine Geishas dancing,
Eight toilet seats a'warming,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 10th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Ten Samurais a'fighting,
Nine Geishas dancing,
Eight toilet seats a'warming,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 11th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Eleven sake bottles a'steaming
Ten Samurais a'fighting,
Nine Geishas dancing,
Eight toilet seats a'warming,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 12th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Twelve karaoke rooms for singing
Eleven sake bottles a'steaming
Ten Samurais a'fighting,
Nine Geishas dancing,
Eight toilet seats a'warming,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

April Fool's Day

Although people don’t celebrate April Fool’s here, they certainly know the name. So when I arrived half an hour early to plant my jokes, unfortunately people were already in the office rearing to go, so I couldn’t get too crazy. (Side note: They are extremely busy at this time, since it is the end of the school year, the kiddies get 2 weeks off and then it is the beginning of a new school year. In the midst of this, the teachers and people in offices, mostly govt, are moved around to different offices around Japan. These mandatory moves are expected at a moment’s notice and could be hours away from home and family. Since Japan is about the size of California, effectively this is the government moving people from San Francisco to San Diego, or Sacramento to LA.) So I proceeded to stuff Kleenex into desks, open purses, jackets and shoes. Then I handed an exploding envelope (where a twisted paperclips jumps out) to everyone separately as they arrived so that all could get the benefit of their screams. I warmed Snickers bars and shaped them to look like “poo”, then put it in people’s coffee, on their desks etc. I poured salt in their tea and hid a scary-looking face in my supervisor’s open-and-waiting purse. Ok, A LOT was done throughout the day. You would think that they wouldn’t leave anything like drinks or shoes unattended. But no, they went on as usual, extremely entertained, but every time a new trick was discovered, no one searched their own shoes or desks. So darn trusting and gullible; I thought I was gullible! How could it continue to be a surprise!!! Nothing I did should have been surprising as soon as the first person stumbled into my traps I kept putting Kleenex everywhere throughout the day, in sheer amazement that no one learned not to trust….Kate on the other hand, wouldn’t touch anything I offered and didn’t leave her desk all day. She knew not to trust, zannen. However, I was happy when my trusting co-workers used my exploding envelope trick on the main boss. Yesss, after all that work I am finally leading them to the dark side!