Monday, 1 September 2008

My Top Ten Japanese Oxymorons

10. Why do trains/buses run exactly on time to the minute, yet getting the internet takes a month?

9. How is it that a Japanese diet is healthy, yet foreigners gain weight?

8. How can 40-year old businessmen drink all night, fall asleep on the street and go to work as if nothing happened?

7. Why is it that students are expected to go to at least two different schools 6 days a week, yet at those schools,students are allowed to roam the school freely and not study? (On that note, why are teachers more responsible for children than parents? A policeman will call the homeroom teacher for a crime instead of the parents. Parentswill call teachers and blame them for their children's bad behavior!!!)

6. How are there no policemen in the streets and traffic laws aren't obeyed, yet there aren't many accidents? In Japan, red really does mean drive faster and a driving test is done on an enclosed 'bumper cars' course.

5. Why are some toilets outfitted for space travel and others are holes in the ground?

4. Why can't I wear a shirt that shows neck cleavage, yet I can be naked in a hot spring?

3. Why is publicly picking your nose, falling asleep in the middle of someone's speech, hawking a loogie and slurping ok, but blowing your nose and not eating all of your food isn't?

2. How is it that kids grow up wild, without individual reward or punishment, to do as they please, yet grow up to bepolite, dedicated and contributing members of society? (Grown-ups will not tell kids no or stop. They are allowed to be as loud, rambunctious and violent as they want. I have seen it many times with parents AND teachers in school, restaurants and in malls; it's CRAZY!! Some restaurants even ban kids to take care of this problem.)

1. How is it that Japanese people are the ultimate work-aholics working 6 days a week from 7 am to 11 pm, yet AT LEAST 1/3 of 'worktime' is wasted in greeting co-workers, (I say Good morning, You must be tired, Excuse me, I'm back,and Good job today at least 15-20 times a day), making coffee/tea, going online, taking a smoke break and chatting? By the way, during 'work' we also shop, go to the post office and my co-workers GO ON FACEBOOK at work. No one says anything!!! I just can't do that, I feel too guilty. No WONDER it takes so long to finish a job.