Handkerchief god

There is a huge 10-foot poster, recently hung, that reads “Zero Handkerchiefs Forgotten”। One of the teachers is obsessed with handkerchiefs. Every morning he takes it upon himself to ask all the homeroom teachers how many students brought handkerchiefs to school. Then, when he goes around congratulating the teachers and creating a team atmosphere, where they say things like “We did it!” and give each other high 5’s. I have already talked about the immense chart that is hanging up in the school, depicting the amount of students bringing handkerchiefs to school. It’s sad to say, but my school isn’t the greatest at garnering prizes. Perhaps this is an attempt to create chances for the students to be good at something! Bring a handkerchief to school, and you’re an automatic winner. It’s that easy. It makes me want to create a chart for carrying water bottles to school. That way, everyone can be a double winner! But I have to admit; I have a handkerchief in my desk that I use to appease the Handkerchief god. I actually do use it, though, every time I wash my hands. Otherwise I would have to wipe my hands on my clothes or air dry them since there are no towels or hand dryers. I told the students that, in America, we don’t carry handkerchiefs around. WAHHHH! Their look of disbelief was mixed with disgust and fascination. It left me feeling quite gleeful. Yes, that’s right, I like to blow your minds. Take that accepted cultural norms!

Eel Pie

I am eating “Eel Pie – a snack for nights” right now. I am not kidding. It sounds disgusting, but it is so good. Contrary to their slimy, black, snake-like appearance, they are actually quite sweet. Kind of like some people that I know.

King of Pop

After the 2nd year girls finished their team dances, the principal went up to give a speech about it. He mentioned how he saw some definite Michael Jackson moves, and as the students gave their negative opinion, he looked at me to confirm that indeed I saw it too. Alas, I saw nothing Michael Jackson and everything J-Pop (Japanese Pop) style. I had to agree with the students. He just couldn’t understand the difference. But as I sat there, I reasoned to myself. One could say that Michael Jackson, being the King of Pop, introduced the concept of pop, as well as many dance/song elements still used today. So in that sense, all pop is indicative of Michael. Therefore, even J-pop has some Michael in it. As I came to this conclusion, the principal asked me again as we entered the teacher’s room, “Right, right? You saw it too.” “Hmm, yes”, I answered, “Just a little.” I am ok with attributing all pop to a legend. He must walk around seeing Michael Jackson everywhere J-Pop is, and you know, perhaps that’s how it should be.

Bread Crust

I really like bread ears. I especially like tearing the ears off my bread and dipping it in my soup. Yummy. I like it much more than I like corn ears. Bread ears sounds so much better in Japan that crust sounds in America. Give me a bread ear over a bread crust any day. Just thought you should know.

Survivor

Recently I was at a party, where all the Westerners were sitting around talking, and we didn’t even realize the two Japanese girls had taken the small circular cake and somehow managed to cut into 14 equal pieces. It was about an hour before we realized they were measuring sizes and comparing number of fruits on the cake. I pondered their reasoning in semi-shock, considering the depth of their sense of fairness. What is fair to you? I think fairness is a balance that does not equal sameness, but “levels the playing field” to create equality. I would take any piece that looked generally the same. But in Japan, fairness means exactitude. Everyone is more or less that same as far as background features and growing up. Students must have similar haircuts, uniforms, bags, shoes, gloves, etc etc. There is a chart to determine what students should look like. I am not kidding. There are many examples of what people would consider fair here. Children are taught in the same manner, no matter whether they are very smart or lived in an English-speaking country or are slow learners. It doesn’t matter; it must be fair. Teachers must switch schools every few years, to give everyone a chance with all good teachers. If someone fails a grade level, they move on anyway, because they had the same chance as everyone else. A teacher was forgotten in the food division at school lunchtime and 3 ran to get a bowl and wash it and ran around trying to make sure they got an equal share. In the classroom when one team wins, and gets a prize and the other team gets very upset because somehow it’s not fair to them. Why should only half the class win prizes when they all tried hard? A win for one side is a win for the other and that’s what they’re taught since kindergarten. All for One and One for All. When one person in the class doesn’t do their homework, the entire class has to write another page. So that’s how 127 million people survive on an island the size of California, with a population density near India’s (50% of the people live on 2% of the land). Try to be exactly fair in every way. Yes indeed, the nail that sticks out must get hammered down here, or there wouldn’t be enough room for the stuck-out nails. Sticking out would create an unhinged, unequal society. This small island chooses to survive through what is socially considered fair as they have for thousands of years. And they continue to do so, with 90% of the population in the middle class. Whether or not you choose to work hard or play hard, you are part of this society, and as such, you deserve an equal piece of cake. Hmm…I don’t necessarily agree…but, I don’t necessarily disagree with sharing my hard-won cake…Now that I think about it, 1% of America is eating 90% of the cake, so perhaps the Japanese sameness is the only way to ensure equality, starting with something as simple as splitting the fruit.

More Apples Please

I am officially an iWhore, or so Nico says, since I bought an iPhone this weekend. But you know what, I am proud to be an iWhore, if it means I can make movies with my Apple’s, download music, use Skype, free Japanese dictionaries, games, navigation and never-ending free applications. My iPhone can be my TV remote control, remote video player, violin tuner and basically anything small and electronic that I need. What can your phone do? I am sorry that Apple is so awesome and makes excellent products that everyone wants to buy. I am sorry that you’re against Steve Jobs, and Apple’s incompatibility with anything but itself. That’s how smart businesses work, buddy. I am sorry if you don’t want one of the best inventions ever, that is useful, lightweight, and inevitable. So stop being all anti-majority and be an iWhore and be proud of it, all you Nico-think-alikes. And by the way, Nico bought an iPhone the next day. And that’s that.

Japanese Soup

I have a cool idea. You know alphabet soup that kids used to use to remember the alphabet. Someone should make kanji soup so that we can play with it and make kanji combos. Or maybe hiragana/katakana soup so that we can play with that too. I think it’s a brilliant idea. Any takers?

Mondegreens

My favorite mondegreen of the day: let’s communicake! Yum, how about chocolate communicake and milk. Itadakimasu!

My name

Nico spells his name in kanji like this: 光日“にこ”. It means sunlight. I haven’t figured out how to spell my name, hmm, what do you think? I can’t decide on a story. My name is too long to have something easy like sunlight. I need to have a story with my name using the following phonetic definitions.

ka か
flower/mosquito
beautiful/excellent
fire

san　さん
3/mountain/childbirth
praise/tribute

do　ど
earth/dirt
great effort/diligent

ra　ら
naked/net/gauze/silk/compass

For example, my host sister came up with this story, [3 mosquitos on a mountain bit me because I was naked on the dirt.] I have to choose a story so I can choose the kanji character that I use:

I am diligently using a compass on fire mountain (I live in fire country). Lost as usual.
I am making a great effort to catch 3 mosquitoes with a net.
Beautiful flowers grew out of the earth and I tied them with silk.
A mosquito gave birth in the dirt and I crushed them with my compass. I had a beautiful childbirth on the earth and wrapped it in gauze.