The Test

I sat down to take the test, thinking I was confident about it. I mean, I wasn’t stressed out studying the night before like everyone else. I was drinking chu-hai (think Zima) and making sure the 4 lbs Cheddar cheese I bought was full of ice and safe for my joint birthday party this week. I entered the 100-ish person room and was directed to the number taped on a desk towards the back of the room. Phew, good. As I sat down, I tried to think of the word in Japanese for WIN. But all I saw in my mind’s eye was MAKETA. I quickly tried to shove LOSE out of my mind and replace it with the real word for WIN…but I couldn’t remember it. Then directions started, so I tried to shake my mind free from MAKETA, holding tightly onto my mind unbidden. I looked at the clock on the wall waiting for the countdown til the test. No opening yet or I would get a yellow card warning. I was disoriented since the clock on the wall was about half an hour fast. How long did I have!? I need a clock, my mind screamed. But when I heard hajimemasu, like a shotgun I raced with my pencil across the test. After this first round of Vocabulary and Writing, I remembered the word for win; Katsu. Too late. Sigh. After a 40minute break, the second round of testing, Listening, began. Again I tried to envision Katsu, which came to my mind weakly. At the end of the test, I saw a roach crawling across the desk and into this girl’s long hair. The girl behind her shooed it away, I don’t know what I would do. Maybe stand up and scream, earning me the red card that would get me kicked out. For the 1-hour lunch break, a dozen or so of us Westerners (most people were Chinese, Korean or Philipino) ate lunch together and discussed the roach-infested room, of which about half of us saw roaches in various places skittering around the room. After eating pizza and looking for non-existent vending machines (ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS!) the last round was about to begin. This was the nikujyaga of the test, the meat and potatoes that is worth the most: 70 minutes of pure, unadulterated Reading and Grammar. I studied this the most, so I was looking forward to seeing what I knew. I didn’t envision katsu or maketa but I felt relaxed. The Alice-in-Wonderland-esque clock in the room, the crawling roaches and MAKETA makes me disoriented about how I did. I truly can’t tell…but we will know in February. Iyada. However, even if I don’t pass, I am glad I did it. If I hadn’t committed to this test, I wouldn’t have pushed myself so hard or learned so much, and that makes me happy. I shot for the moon, and hopefully I will end up somewhere among the stars. Or at least out of Earth's atmosphere and in outer space somewhere. KATSU!