Age is like wine or cheese, it only gets better

Age is something that is brought up almost daily in Japan. It makes me feel like I have some sort of expiration date; as if my quality will steadily decline with age. Upon questioning why it's so important, I was told it is important for people to know how old you are in order to know how to act towards you. I am 26 years old. What does that mean exactly? How should people act towards me? Maybe the better question is how should I act? I'm past the winding forest of a teenager and over the party hill of my early twenties. I wonder if there is a chart somewhere that says how people should act when they're a certain age. I asked the one source that has all the immediate answers: Yahoo. I discovered that there are other people out there that asked the exact same question as me. HA! I knew I wasn't the only one. Perhaps that's what 26-yr-olds do, ask questions. So here is what one entry said:

QUESTION: How Do You Act Like A 26 Year Old? I know this sounds like a dumb question, but I'm not sure where I should be at this point in life or how I'm expected to act. Anyone older than 30 that could tell me what the difference between 26 and your 30s is?
ANSWER: 25/26 is about that age all your friends have moved away or are getting engaged. Thats also the age you should start making some big risk taking moves with your life. By time your 30 you really should be in a career and the older you get after 30 the less risk you can take and the less options you have.
You should be in a job and looking for a marriage-track relationship. You are expected to have some control of your emotions and consideration for others. You should remain positive. Your dress and hairstyle should match "normal" people of your age. [Maybe I should take notes and read lots of magazines?] You probably should start phasing out cartoons, comics and teen-oriented music. [Btw Japanese young and old are in love with cartoons (anime), comics (manga) and teen music (J-Pop). ]

Basically what I learned from my online research is that 1) Efficiency of my organ systems begins to diminish at the rate of about 1% a year after age 20 [I am dying after age 20] and 2) People should try to be like everyone else their age and that is how one knows how old they are. But do I really want to act like everyone else does just to satisfy my age litmus test? I think Yahoo Answers captured what most people in America think about 26-year-olds. But somehow that answer doesn't satisfy me.

Pride and soba isn't tasty

I am really upset with myself. I have never accepted a spoon or fork in lieu of chopsticks, but always made myself ganbatte and take forever to eat if I had to, in order to not use a spoon or fork. In Okinawa, they have this special soba that we tried on our last day. It is a thinner soba that is pretty much impossible to pick up with chopsticks unless you're an expert. So I ganbatte'd and ate everything else except the soba and just decided I would get to try it when I had the hand coordination. But the teachers saw my bowl and asked me why I wasn't eating it. I told them it was a little difficult...big mistake. So before I knew it, they called the waiter over and in two seconds, had a fork for me to use. After all that fuss and mistaken kindness, I couldn't just refuse to use the fork. So I used the damn fork, but the soba was tasteless and hard to swallow, I think because it was drenched in pride.

I must be a pre-schooler....

Random Interesting Facts that I learned in Japanese preschool:
1) Stoplights are actually Red, Yellow and Blue (I swear they look green).
2) Snowmen are made of only two big snow mounds NEVER three...(I was teaching Christmas words and we had a long discussion about the Japanese requirements in order to be considered a snowman).
3) Every child knows the word Christmas wreath (I just call it a wreath), but not candy cane.
4) Children must raise their hands as if answering a question when walking across the street. When I was driving the other day, I saw one girl doing that, and I just thought she was playing or something. The point is, I saw her and paid attention.
5) Children who can barely walk can be trained to take their lunch trays/bowls/cups, etc to the kitchen on their own without someone helping them along. They looked like little toddling zombies that would stumble in one direction, remember what they were supposed to be doing, stumble in another direction and finally make it to the kitchen WITHOUT prompting. This blew my mind.

I have 2 birthdays!

I just had the greatest birthday ever..and guess what tomorrow's my birthday again!! Why, you ask? Well, let me tell you....because although TODAY is December 15th in Japan, TOMORROW is December 15th in America, so I have TWO birthdays. And if you think about it, when I was born on December 15th in America, it was actually December 16th in Japan!!! So it's perfect, Woot Woot! Bet you never thought about that did ya? I get to celebrate for two days, how awesome is that!

What's with all the towels?

So I went to the post office yesterday and the guy forgot to give me my change so he came to my house at 9:30 pm, gave me my change, bowed deeply, kept apologizing and gave me a post office towel. I couldn't BELIEVE he drove to my house to give me my change! So besides the question why does the post office have special towels, the bigger question is why are towels always given away. I have 4 towels given to me from 1) A bar named Anaconda 2) The dragonboat races 3) I don't remember, but it's blue 4) The Post Office. If this keeps up, I will have 9 towels by this summer. Who wants a towel as a souvenir?!

Trip from Hell - Last

So in the Hell Cave we were immersed in the pitch dark, where hundreds died and went step by step into the details of their deaths by pointing our flashlights. This wasn't tourist-attraction paved or what I would consider safe. We had to duck under stalactites, slipping and sliding on the wet rocky floor. The guide dragged out the last moments of the kids' death so that we had the full effect of what it was like. The cave air was hard to breath the constant dripping water reminded me that I had to use the bathroom since I didn't know that we were going to the cave for an hour, so I concentrated on trying to understand and not slipping. We exited the cave and I felt so FREE and HAPPY that I survived it, and we went to the entrance of another cave, where the students fled when they were kicked out of the caves by the Japanese military. We stopped at a memorial stone and all of us bowed deeply and held it for a good 10 seconds. This isn't a dramatic Nutcracker Ballet bow, but a hands at your side, point your head towards the object being respected bow. There is something about bowing your head, the act of lowering yourself, which gives a deep feeling of respect. Try bowing and holding it for a few seconds towards something you want to revere and feel the humbleness sweep over you. So when I say peace, I mean a bow-your-head, atomic-bomb, 33%-wipeout-of-a-population peace that America has never experienced on our own soil. By the way, NONE of the things I read or heard EVER pointed fingers at Americans, but mainly at themselves for not realizing the value of heiwa. It's too bad beauty queens and other airheads overused the word "world peace" because now there isn't a way to describe heiwa without seeming insincere. Anyhow, so we went back to bus, went to the airport where we zipped through without showing so much as an ID. Then, we had our 140-ish member closing ceremony, in the airport, of all places, where airport traffic was walking around us without so much as a look. Of course, it involved goodbye speeches from the principal, travel agent and students. We came back to school and surprise, surprise had yet ONE MORE teacher meeting to talk about the greatness of the trip, before we were allowed to leave at 7ish pm. Apparently, 20% of Okinawa is still controlled by America, on the Okinawan air base, which makes Japan think about peace all the more, and wonder about their country's future. Japan's military was disbanded after WWII and now they only have a defensive military. America is supposed to protect Japan, and now you can understand all the more why the American leader is SO important for Japan, as what we do DIRECTLY affects them. Imagine 20% of valuable land in Hawaii being occupied by another country and you'll understand how they may feel... I got a sense of it when, on a rooftop together with the Japanese students and teachers, we watched an American air base where planes were constantly taking off and landing. They asked me why.... I realized that I don't know. I think it scared me more that it never occurred to me to want to know.

Trip from Hell Day 3

My alarm chimed at 5 am and after a miso soup-and-rice standard breakfast, we left at 8 am and arrived at a peace museum and peace park. So, I'm thinking YOKATTA thank God this is the last day on this crazy trip. But I was very wrong; peace park and museum sound so generic and don't fully capture the feeling of what I saw. Throughout the trip, I was so concentrated on the meetings and creature comforts that I totally missed what the Okinawa Trip was about. It wasn't about seeing Okinawa as a tourist, it was about Heiwa. I am saying heiwa, the Japanese word for peace because English doesn't have a deeper word for peace. Apparently, there was a major battle in Okinawa in 1945 which killed about 200,000 people (over 2.5 Invesco Fields full, 10 Pepsi Centers, 1/3 of Okinawans) . Yeah yeah, ok I know what you're thinking, on paper, "200,000 deaths" means nothing to me either and I'm sure it means nothing to the students when they read about it in textbooks. This is why EVERY Japanese student in 7th grade, age 13, must go visit Okinawa, Hiroshima or Nagasaki. Nothing I can say will be able to have you experience the feeling of it. The museum featured a junior high during WWII that was taken over by the military, where students worked night and day in a cave, buried the dead, nursed the sick and were educated that their country needed them. The US surrounded the Japanese army in Okinawa but instead of giving up, the army fled south and forced every able person on the island to fight to the death, man, woman and child to stop the US from entering mainland Japan. Japan tried to delay the invasion using every means possible; i.e. once US soldiers found them and started shooting, students were abandoned or forced to leave the caves and face the soldiers in the middle of a battle. What made my experience so deep was watching the students as they read about what happened to students their age, schools with sailor uniforms, the same uniforms they are still wearing almost 60 years later. I watched these 13-year old giggling/energetic kids recognize themselves in the photos of the dead students. When coming out of the museum, the students were really scared, one girl was holding her stomache and wasn't talking and I felt like the biggest jerk ever on the other side of the coin hearing America-gun and US soldier. On the next bus ride, students start pulling out work-gloves and flashlights. So I'm looking around completely confused and wondering what's going on when the teacher asks me, "Do you have a flashlight and gloves?" Well, umm although I like to carry alot of things in my purse, as a general rule, I draw the line at flashlights and gloves. So the teacher rented one for me and I have absolutely no idea what was going on and everyone is grabbing helmets and I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON and he can't explain so I'm just going with it, right? So some of my favorites grab my hand and lead me into the forest where I'm sure we are going into a construction site or something. Nope, we go into an entrance of a hidden cave and descend into the "Hell on Earth" that the same sailor-clad students experienced 60 years ago, maybe on a sunny day just like this one. But today, instead of hiding from Americans in caves, Japanese students are leading an American into the cave holding hands; life is funny...

Trip from Hell Day 2

My alarm chimed at 5 am and I got up, rebelliously took a shower in the morning (shocking I know) which is strange since EVERYONE takes a bath at night. We loaded onto the bus and were greeted by the tour guide who gave us loads of information about Okinawan culture and songs. I talked to one of the teachers and asked about the waste-of-time meeting at 11pm (btw, I phrased it differently when we talked). He informed me that this meeting is usually a drinking party, but this year the principal axed it, so the teachers weren't extremely happy about it. So now, the meeting really is a waste of time lol. We went to the beach for 10 minutes, an aquarium for 1 hour, a botanical garden for 1 hour and then lunch for 30 minutes. Everything was like clockwork, when I say one hour, I mean everyone had to be on that bus 5 minutes before take-off to the next site. After our 20 minute lunch, we saw our next clockwork sights: an American base, guided shopping, etc. Then, of course at 6 pm, there was a meeting. At this meeting, we talked about the students and how they were awful for not staying in their designated shopping groups. Then we had 20 minute dinner, some random speech about peace, then another meeting when the speech was over (which I didn't understand and probably was about the peace speech) and then had a couple of hours of hall patrol before the next meeting at 11 pm. At 11 pm, the meeting started and this time the table was filled with tons of fruit, sandwiches and sushi…but I couldn't eat at 11pm. I was excited to at least taste a little dragonfruit, starfruit and passionfruit since I couldn't buy anything beyond designated shopping times. The meeting confirmed that everything was the same, and wow imagine that, it was, surprise surprise. Then at midnight, the teachers had a secret party with snacks, alcoholic drinks, and omg-we're-so-rebellious fun. The highlight of the party was when a teacher pulled out a bottle of alcohol with a dead snake in it and poured the stuff into my cup in all sincerity. I just couldn't be rude, since I realized what I will call Dead Snake Drink was very expensive, so I drank it and it tasted like vodka. I went to bed at around 1:30ish, slept fitfully to the sound of people entering and exiting the room and woke up at 5 am. I forgot to mention that the teacher I roomed with is the nurse, so the sick students were in and out of my room constantly. One more day and I'm out of this place!!!

Trip from Hell Day 1

Nothing in life comes without a price. So when I found out I would get to go to Okinawa with my junior high students for free, I should have known it would cost something besides money. After three days of 9 meetings, 8 total hours of sleep and 7 ounces of dead snake alcohol, I think I know what price I paid. For the price of not actually experiencing Okinawa, I have gained a considerable amount of knowledge into Japanese culture. It all started on a Sunday morning when we had an opening ceremony commemorating the 7th graders trip to Okinawa; the travel agency, students and teachers all presented goodbye speeches. Then, all 130-ish of us took our non-rolling luggage and loaded into the buses. I specify non-rolling here because it is was stressed to me that they are considered dangerous to the students and since students can't have them, neither can teachers. We got to Okinawa, saw some sights and had our first meeting at 6 pm where the hotel staff welcomed the teachers with tea and we discussed how the trip went, etc., and confirmed our next meeting at 11 pm. At 8 pm, we had a second meeting with the designated student room leaders. These room leaders were responsible for filling out a daily health form for everyone and collecting students' wallets to be put into the hotel safe every night. I'm sure they were in charge of more frivolous (in my opinion) things that I couldn't understand. After eating dinner, teachers patrolled the halls and collected all students' hotel room keys, which were placed on a chair in the center of each hallway. Then, teachers had another meeting at 11. At this meeting, the table was groaning under the weight of fried chicken, seafood, pizza, juice, and pretty much everything I didn't want to eat at 11pm. This one-hour long meeting basically confirmed the details of our 30-page trip detailed handout (I counted the pages). I was dying of thirst, since I was not allowed to drink water or anything beyond the 3 set meals throughout the day in front of the students, so I went to the vending machine after the meeting. It had a sign taped over it and I thought it was out of order. So, I went to the second and first floors, and saw signs taped on all of the machines over place where coins are inserted. How could every machine be out of order?! I came back to the third floor where I was greeted by the 12:15 am travel agent who was patrolling the halls, and I understood that when they said no drinks between meals, they really meant it. I went back to my room and was greeted by my teacher roommate, who laughed when I told her what I had been looking for. She is entertained and thinks I'm such a rebel for drinking water between meals! I always try to be a bad influence on people by drinking lots of water. I went to bed at 1 am and waited for the 5 am alarm to chime for morning hall patrol.

Hair Violation

I never realized that I considered my hair to be a sacred space until someone violated it. When I was at my junior high enkai (party on the floor with teachers), I was sitting on the floor and the server kept coming back to me with offers of more liquor. Hot sake, cold sake, old sake, new sake and offered to mix things for me and being SUPER NICE! I LOVE the service here in Japan, it's incredible. Anyhow, so I was sitting there chatting with a fellow teacher when the server comes up behind me, lifts my hair off of my shoulders and runs both hands through it and starts petting me. It wasn't just a piece of hair, but she violated the full length and breadth of it . I just froze and tried not to make a face, but the teacher I was chatting with, saw my face and started laughing. I think the server felt me freeze and saw the teacher laughing and got really embarrassed and said sorry, sorry and left. I kept telling here "it's ok, daijobu" but she didnt come back the rest of the night until the end. The teacher I was with said that she had never seen anything like that and thought maybe the lady liked Americans. As a side note, my hair was curly that day, and people are more obsessively curious with my hair when it's curly. Anyhow, at the end of the night I talked to her again, since I felt bad that I embarrassed her, and she called me a pretty doll and blah blah. This is not the first time someone has called me a doll. Although I get called a doll, that doesn't mean I am one; perhaps that's what bothers me the most. If I was a doll, I would be a china doll because unfortunately I don't like to be touched. (That also explains why unfortunately I can't get manicures or pedicures.)

Sick Sick Go Away!

I just can't shake my cold; it's been sticking to me like a bad habit. I am nice and toasty now with absolutely no reason to be sick, but my body refuses to accept this fact. This is quite unfortunate, considering it's the most wonderful time of the year and I have SO MANY things to look forward to:
1) I will only be working at my junior high school for a grand total of 7 days this month.
2) I will be going to a huge Kumamoto-ken (the entire Kumamoto state) Christmas party on Friday.
3) I will be going to the island of Okinawa this Sunday.
4) I will be going to a pinata-making party in preparation for my birthday in 2 weeks.
5) My birthday is in 2 weeks and I will have Honey Toast again. I have held out for so long for the next moment I will be with Honey Toast.
6) My mom will come to Japan at the end of December.
7) I will have a White Elephant Christmas party at the end of December.
8) I will make tamales with my mom in January.
9) I will be milking a cow for the first time, the day before my birthday. If you didn't know already, milk is MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE!
10) It will be my 5-month anniversary with Japan on December 28th.
I CAN'T BE SICK!!!! And with that, I think I'll go to bed now.

Scandy Scandoval

Out of all the nicknames I have ever had, Scandy Scandoval has never been one of them. One of my friends from New Zealand has a hard time pronouncing Sandoval, it came out Scandoval. So as we all were decorating my mini-tree in my living room and listening to a random Christmas CD (that I found in my apato, left by my predecessor), I decided it would be a cool idea to spill wine on my tatami mat (which is impossible to get out). Maybe that's where the Scandoval came from since this isn't the only 'scandalous' idea I've had in the past week or so. On Saturday, I decided shattering a glass would be a cool idea. On Friday, I decided to break my chair by standing on it. On Thursday, (on a dark rainy night on a twisted confusing Japanese street) I decided to stop at a red light just after the intersection instead of before the intersection and then realized the cars on the other side were lined up with me exactly the opposite way. Last week, I was at a 'party' with my teachers and opened a sliding rice-paper door and walked into the wrong party. Last weekend, I went to this random festival where these men dressed in nothing but sumo underwear, ran with a horse up and down a riverbed, and people were carrying baby chicks around. I don't think I'm the only one with crazy ideas over here on the other side of the world. I don't know where all these crazy ideas are coming from, but Scandy Scandavol ended up turning into Scandy Canes and Scandy Clause.

Turky and eel make me ill!

This weekend was Thanksgiving heaven. On Friday night, the people from the town office came to kate's apt and we threw a full-out Thanksgiving dinner for them, which was no easy feat. I was hoping that all of our cooking wouldn't go to waste, but they LOVED it!! We made stuffing, yams, corn, mashed potatoes, ordered a turkey and cranberry sauce online and cooked it all. I cooked a turkey in my Japanese microwave which apparently converts to an oven. It took all of the power out of my apato, so I turned off everything, including the lights and let the turkey cook over a span of about 3 hours. I would come in to my apato every 20 min or so and check it by flashlight. I can't believe I cooked a turkey by flashlight, AND it turned out awesome and not burned. That was number one goal: to not burn the turkey. I stayed in Kate's apato while the turkey cooked, instead of sitting in my apato in the dark for three hours without heat. We told the story of Thanksgiving, and went around the table and said what we were thankful for, and...it was def a bonding night for the 9 of us. I brought out the pumpkin cake thing (pancake mix, walnuts and pumpkins) I baked in my rice cooker (I tried to make caramel and ended up burning the pan). Anyhow, they brought tons of liquor and Japanese snacks, like eel and weird green bean stuff and fried seafood, to the party, that they wanted us to try. I just couldnt touch it until after I had eaten dessert and held on to the taste of Thansgiving feast just a little longer :) Turkey and eel just don't get along in my mouth. They want us to throw another party in December and kept asking about it, we told them Thanksgiving is only ONCE a year and that's what makes it special ;)

My Bed under the Table

So on Tuesday, after 3-day weekend of being sick, and not being able to read the medicine bottles, I came to the conclusion that I probably shouldn't just ride out the sickness. I am tired of asking people to translate things though. I am so used to being independent and just doing things on my own. I feel like a very old person must feel, ALWAYS having to ask people to help and relying on them. I don't like it at all...how tough it must be for them. I can't even imagine what they do when people say no to them. Anyhow, my co-worker came to my apt and showed me how the air conditioner converts to a heater. She showed me how to use a small heater my apartment has ( I wasn't sure how to use it, most of these heaters need oil or something bad happens). She also showed me how to use the KOTATSU TABLE! HOORAY! This freaky table has a top that comes off, then you put a blanket under the top and put the top back on. Then you turn it on and it heats under the table and you sit with your legs under the table and enjoy the heat. I am scared to touch the grate; I am afraid it will burn my legs. When it makes a sound, I have to look under there to see what it's doing. There's a red light under there and a gas sound ... needless to say I check it out every 10 minutes or so. I have never heard of a Japanese person getting charred legs, but I am not going to be the first.

Thanksgiving!

What if it was my first and last Thanksgiving EVER? Kate and I are throwing a Thanksgiving party for about 13 of the people who have helped us as our way of saying thank you. This dinner will, most likely, be the only Thanksgiving dinner they’ll ever have. I am so excited for Thanksgiving I can’t stand it! I couldn’t go to sleep all night last night thinking: what else could we do for this important Thanksgiving? These people have helped me:
1) Open a bank account
2) Helped me when my power went out
3) Showed me what food/cleaners/etc to buy and bought them for me
4) Threw a huge party for me
5) Came to my apt when I was sick
6) Translate whenever I need help
7) and all of the millions of things that they’ve done for me.
I am so nervous and I hope they like the food. There is so much to say, but I can’t write too much now. I AM SO EXCITED my stomach has been turning for 2 days now!!

"Thanksgiving" by Japanese Adults

I'm thankful for beer, it give me warm feeling.
I'm thankful for grasses, I can see a small thing. (remember replace r for l)
I'm thankful for my family, they give me a happy life.
I'm thankful for rain, I don't have to watering a flowerbed.
I am thankful for flower, it keep me good.
I'm thankful for water, it keeps me moisture.
I'm thankful for my son, because he is a good boy.

I am thankful for my Japanese adults; they keep me going.

5 New and Unexpected Developments

5. On a recent bike ride, I found a YMCA near my house which has Fura (Hula) dancing and a 24-hour grocery store!!!! Imagine life where all stores close at 8, and you'll realize the extent of my happiness.
4. I went to a random potluck party which turned out to be a fruit-and-vegetable drawing party. I learned how to watercolor a fruit I've never seen before.
3. I turned on my school computer and someone changed the background to a picture of Voldemort (Harry Potter's nemesis) that points at me and says "You will lose everything." So it's either a joke or maybe a warning that I need to turn off my computer screen... I don't know who did it, but I have a sneaking suspicion it was my fun-loving and forever-at-school English teacher.
2. The kid that has been the bane of my existence at Junior High (he usually finger-shoots me or flips me off or tries to shock me with his MTV English) officially asked me to marry him and runs after me now. I really don't know which side of him I prefer.
1. When walking off the midnight train, an eager-to-learn-English Japanese girl had me cornered in the bathroom, talking for half an hour, and we exchanged numbers. Now, I can say that out of all the random places I meet new friends, in the train station bathroom at midnight is the last place I expected it.

Cassandra Popsicle

It's so cold over here! Here in Japan, they believe that heating children is an unnecessary expense, so at school I am pretty much in a freezer all day long. You know I am always cold at 72 degrees, and even at the bank I would wear my coat inside til we opened. I wore three layers at school on Monday... not enough. I wore my coat and three layers and tights on Tuesday - STILL not enough. I was shivering at my desk, literally. I am going to have to go for the big guns now and conceal hand warmers under my clothes. I'm not kidding, I bought them today. I can't believe it's come to this. THAT'S CRAZY! One teacher said that she wears a type of thin bodysuit, surfer-style, all day. I might look into that. If anyone knows where I can buy such a bodysuit, please tell me and I will maybe give you 1,000 Yen (calculate that lol, I'm a big spender)!! At home I've resorted to boiling water constantly, so that it heats my apartment, and turning on all lights and as many electrical appliances as possible (without the power going off). I cook every night for as long a period of time as possible. I also save dirty dishes as I try to do dishes every 1.5 hours that I'm here to keep me warm. I have heard that I can heat rice in a pillow....

Hotto Kaki

Mythbuster: Urban Legend Confirmed
So it turns out you *CAN* bake a cake in a rice cooker. Yesterday I didn't want to study Japanese, so I threw the hotto kaki mix, an egg, oil and water in the rice cooker to see what would happen and IT BAKED a cake. I added milk to it after it was baked to see if it would taste better and then I added syrup. It was the best MilkSyrupPancake Cake ever!! Ha, and you thought I couldn't cook!

OBAMA Christmas!

Is it Christmas?
My ears ring of peace on earth and goodwill to all men from all corners of the globe. "On this morning, we all want to be American so we can take a bite of this dream unfolding before our eyes." (French leader)
What happened to the days in Spain when I was afraid to admit that I was American, trying to avoid the question like every other American student?
Peace and hope... Goodwill to Men
That's all I hear in Japan and echoed in the international TV, radio, and from everyone, foreigners and Japanese here. Japan is showing Obama over and over, cut with American heroes MLK, JFK, Roosevelt. The TV is chanting "Hope", "Change" and "Yes we can", on shots the world over. All I have seen everyday on TV is Obama, political and economic news from all over the US and the world. I see everything you see and more from ALL OVER the US; so does the rest of the world perhaps... I see the political controversies and political commercials. It's crazy!
Joyful all Ye Nations Rise... Join the Triumph
The fact of the matter is that the world embraced Obama as one of their own:
-Kenyans danced in the streets and declared a public holiday when Obama won
-Indonesian children were kissing cut-outs of Obama
-Spain- made a ENORMOUS 2.5 acre portrait of Obama out of gravel and sand
-Obama, Japan- made Obama Burgers and Obama noodles and had an "Obama celebration party"
-Locals the world over celebrated with American citizens when Obama won.

Why do they care?
Because what we do affects their daily lives.

Do you realize the power we have?
Do you realize the responsibility we have?
Do you realize yet that we are Rome?

4 cartons in 2 weeks

Do I love how milk makes my coffee caramel?
Do I love how milk makes my oatmeal cream?
Do I love how milk makes my bread pudding?
Do I love how milk makes my cereal mushy?
Do I love how milk makes my miso thick?
Do I love how milk makes my chili bland?
Do I love how milk makes my chai spicy?
Do I love how milk makes my french toast complete?
Do I love how milk makes Japan my America?

Didn't you know...

Have you ever seen the Nightmare Before Christmas? I just saw it the other day and it totally reminds me of....ME - especially when Jack is singing that song, "What's this?" (If you don't know, go to youtube.com and look up "jack what's this"). The air is crisp and clean and smells of a camp fire all around and the mountains look like a giant Cosco muffin tore in half; the trees are the walnuts and brown sugar spilling over the side of the muffin. It doesn't look anything like Colorado mountains. I am scared to go into the bamboo forests, I've heard they are filled with monkeys and spiders. They don't look very inviting; they look like a big jumble of firewood that is waiting to be burned. Anyhow, my bike ride feeling can't really be described...but I think it's best captured in the Nightmare Before Christmas song OR by riding a bike downhill really fast.
I have been going in different directions to try to discover everything around my area. There aren't any street names here, so I have to remember what stores or landmarks are around me (which is perfect because, as you know, I never looked at street names in the States anyway, I always looked for stores or landmarks) I usually get lost for awhile and then eventually find my way back. So far I have discovered: a closer train station than my town office told me, an easier route to the city, another mall, the source of a peculiar burning smell. I don't really know what's going on with the rice fields, but now they're bare, and for some reason set on fire. I pass uniform-clad students as I go, and old people with little dogs; who all stare at me as I whiz by. I love the Japanese student uniforms, they're so interesting. The girls are kind of like a mix of a sailor/golfer/Britney Spears catholic schoolgirl. The boys look like chefs at Benihana, but with black outfits.
"What's this? What's this?" I sing in my head as I ride my Dorothy-style bike around the city, scaring people.

Random Thoughts on a Bus...

Wow the trees dumped all of their leaves and I no longer hear the scary "atsuuii, atsuuii, atsuuii" (hot, hot, hot) whine of the cicadas anymore...when did that happen? It was so cold today and the sun went down at 6pm!! Omg isn't there any in-between for summer and winter geez, it was SO freaking hot like 2 weeks ago I swear! Now people are bringing all of these harvested fruits to school...

My teacher gave me a persimmon today...Is a persimmon called a persimmon because it tastes kind of like a pear with cinnamon? I tried to teach my town office persimmon today and it came out pelsimmon....

The Japanese usually replace L for R and R for L, so when talking about the upcoming US elections, replace the L with an R in "election" and see what you get ... I have to admit it is PRETTY entertaining to hear about "the most important election of the century" and "the big election" when spoken by a Japanese speaker. Immature I know... you try keeping a straight face...

Speaking of speech difficulties, when speaking English, the mouth is wider and the tongue does alot of acrobatics. I didn't realize how acrobatic English speakers' tongues are until now when I am teaching phonics to the young and old. I always have to open my mouth and show people what my tongue is doing. Does that means our tongues are stronger? Are we better kissers? Lol

Anywaaay, my favorite kanji character right now is "mori" which means forest because it looks like three sparkles attached together to make one massive sparkling word "Mori". It is so pretty, maybe I should be mori for halloween...my favorite English word is still bubble...I wonder what that looks like in kanji....

and I arrived! The End.

Culture Shock

So I had a case of MAJOR culture shock for the first time on Monday. I went to one of the nursery schools that I hadn't been to yet...it was strange that no one was there to greet me and introduce me at the door, which is what usually happens. That should have been my first clue. I walked in and tried to speak to some teachers, but they didn't seem to know who I was. Then this random teacher character and I went to an office and looked at a calendar and 'discussed' that Thursday would be a better day for me, but then he kept saying something about "how much"...but I didn't know what he meant...how much time? how many students? how much Japanese did I know?I was really confused because an Assistant Language Teacher had always worked at this nursery school and the date had already been set with the principal of the nursery school not two weeks ago. All I knew is that we weren't going anywhere and I could feel that something really wrong. Up until this point, I had never been unable to communicate what I wanted or needed before, but somehow, we couldn't get through to each other no matter how many Japanese charades we played or pictures we drew. At that moment, I experienced a bout with the deadly virus called culture shock.
My stomach dropped, my lungs tightened, my heart beat faster, I could hear the ocean in my ears and I felt like I was absolutely, completely alone in the world. I could feel myself panicking, so I did what any normal person would do, told him hold on and started dialing people in my cell phone.I got ahold of my co-worker and had her listen to what he was saying. I thought he meant "how much time" but he meant "how much do you cost".It turns out that I had the wrong nursery school with the SAME NAME! WTF! Who names schools the same name maybe 10 minutes apart ARGH!?!
I was still reeling from the after-effects of shock in my car...I kept thinking...OMG I couldn't communicate with someone. I couldn't believe it. I felt like someone transported my screaming mind into a comatose patient. Utterly helpless and unconnected. It is an awful, awful feeling. I wonder if that's how babies feel...maybe that explains all the crying since really that's all you can do. Or explode.
I ended up making it to the right school, just in time for the lesson, and I had an hour to wind down and scream an English song on the radio. That helped immensely as did making my Japanese students dance the Monster Mash in my Halloween lesson plan.

Dragon Boat Battleship

Upon hopping into the dragon boat itself ichi-e-ichi-go, we realized that no one really had any experience with boats or rowing, or drumming (in my case). This inevitably led to a series of mistakes, which could have led to the death of the dragon boat itself. Imagine a vast crowd of 300-ish Japanese people staring out over the water in front of stone docks, and then 10 gaijin girls trying to learn how to row in front of their eyes, DURING A RACE, no less. We couldnt figure out how to keep the boat straight, and scraped along the entire half of a football field of stone wall to the starting line. People were shouting at us trying to help us out (I think) ... but we don't speak Japanese. So this made us even more nervous and uncoordinated. Needless to say, we ended up wrecking into the boat in front of us, like a battleship ... talk about EMBARRASSING!! Then, in a crazy rowing feat, they somehow managed to turn their boat and grabbed ahold of our boat so we didnt hit anything else, like the stone docks. Afterwards, they took off away from us at lightning speed. By this time, we were further away from the bulk of the crowd and starting to realize how to row a boat. We eventually made it to the starting line, but then had to somehow maneuver ourselves to a straight line with the other rowers to hold a tiny rope. This was too much, it took us about 10 minutes of back and forth, side to side rowing to figure out how to get our boat to the right place with the rope. So umm yeah, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE was staring at us, and the Japanese rowers were trying to help us by shouting "righto" and "lefto" and making wild gestures, so we didnt hit anything else, like the stone bridge. On the loudspeaker I could hear something about "ALT's"(Assistant Language Teachers is what we all are), which could not be good based on our lack of rowing ability. We were getting frustrated and shouting at each other, trying to figure out which side should row to turn left, and which side should row to turn right. I'm not gonna lie, it was ugly.
Thank God we finally made it to the little rope... after holding up the race for10 minutes of a silent crowd and shouting rowers. Then, the gong sounded, and we expected to sink our boat...but somehow, it all just clicked. We all rowed altogether like we had been rowing for years, to the beat of my awesome drumming skills and WE WON THE RACE!! ... JK , we actually came in DEAD LAST, but the fact that we made it all the way without turning in circles (like the ALT's last year) was amazing. We were screaming and screaming and making a big ruckus and pumped our way back to the docks in a straight line and had our pictures taken and were greeted with hundreds of Japanese smiles of awe and probably relief. Ohhh freakin yeah! Glorious! That's how we do it both in and out of the classroom! ;)

5 - 9 hour road trip

On Saturday we took off to a place supposedly 5 hours south of kumamoto called kagoshima to participate in the dragon boat races, where strangely enough, boats with dragon heads race against each other. We had reserved our own dragon boat and I was super duper excited to be the official dragon drummer (where the rowers row to my beat). SO NINE HOURS later, we arrived. According to my calculations, we had to ask 5 conbene's (convenience stores), an onsen, the restaurant JoyFull, and finally a Japanese family for directions. This dad, mom and child drove with us for about 20 min out of their way, to make sure that we went the right way. I couldnt believe it! Who does that except for serial killers?! I have 3 letters: OIJ. That's my new quote: Only In Japan. They were SO freakin nice; of course we gave them whatever we could scrounge up from the 9 hour food stash, like a super sweet box of chocolates and ALL of our oreos. Anyhow, we sang at the top of our lungs, had multiple dance parties, sang happy birthday to the car on its 150thousandth mile, anything to keep us believing it was only 3 hours and had probably the best 9 hour road trip. I ate at conbenes all weekend, which I had heard of people doing, but had never done myself and hopefully never will again. We arrived, danced, had a great night, went to bed at about 5am, woke up at 7am, and got ready for the big dragon boat race.

Headache...

Prognosis:
Brain Binge-Eating

Cause and Effect:
Listening to Japanese all day after a 4 day weekend of mostly English causes immense pressure to the head and gives the impression of continuous pounding, making the ears and frontal brain lobe feel as if they are going to explode. This brain binge-eating is the result of a flood of Japanese into the ears after a 4 day fast.

Solution:
Sleep immediately and dream in English.

Typical Mayhem

On Saturday, the school nurse and I hung out for like 5 hours trying to understand each other. We usually end up playing this little game called charades... perhaps you've heard of it? Yeah, it's my new favorite game. After impromptu charades we end up playing impromptu pictionary for further clarification of the language barrier. I always carry a pen and paper in my bag in case I need emergency pictionary, like if I need a train ticket and can't explain where. I learned many Japanese words- made pizza, drank coffee (weird combo!) and hung out. Her son joined us and we all attempted to have a conversation via the japanese-to-english version of charades and pictionary. Then OF COURSE, he asked to take a picture of me (so he could show his friends the foreign girl, I'm sure lol) but they were so great and I don't care that I'm a freak anymore. Later on, I headed to the city and we stumbled upon a random festival (as usual), English-speaker city folk (we usually collect together like water and make a gaijin splash lol), watched African-style Japanese dancers (whoa! oxymoron, I know) and drank sake out of mini wood boxes (that looked like you would put earrings or jewelry in). We headed over to Jeff's World Bar, a foreign fave, and later we went salsa dancing. We tried to go to a place called Party Party, but the party was over by the time we got there. So we hung out in the street talking, and then walked to our designated sleeping place for the night. All in all, it was a typical Japanese night of mayhem...

I'm a Lock Star! Lol I mean Rock Star!

So I just came back from my first nursery school class, and I feel like a rock star. If you feel sad, my solution to you is: go play with little kids. I’m dead serious. They jumped all over me and cried if they didn’t get to touch my hand. All I heard the entire time was Kasandora sensei Japanese-nonsense-this and Kasandora sensei. Japanese-nonsense-that. They served me Oolong tea out of flowers and dirty water and asked me if their mud rice balls were delicious. I was like Maria in the Sound of Music and they followed me like little ducks; I bet I could have started singing and they would have too. I was able to kind of teach them duck, duck goose, but the hokey pokey was just too much for them. Kate and I had a half hour meeting with 4 nursery school principals (4 of them) prior to today and they asked that I dress up for Halloween (since I won’t see them on Halloween). So I was Sacajawea and even found a Native American Doll, they loved it.
My first adult class was fun as well; I love being able to actually talk to them without singing or playing games. I introduced the concept of Show and Tell to them. The first Show and Tell was funny, the old guys get up and ramble on and on about their airplanes or whatever else they’re interested in. Then the other old people start asking questions in Japanese and I have to remind them that this is an English class. But we have fun, they are a great group. One guy brought his Swiss nail clippers to Show and Tell. Believe me it was fascinating...I didn’t want to touch them, but other people passed them around like they were the greatest thing ever. Then he explained that in his photo album, a picture of the aforementioned nail clippers could be found on page 54. It was actually pretty hysterical and I can’t wait to see what people are going to bring to my next adult class.

Honey Toast and Good Times

This weekend about 45 of us went to a beautiful little beach town called Amakusa. We swarmed en mass into our local Justco Supermarket (maybe trying to be Cosco?) and were greeted by the shocked stares of the local Japanese population who were unused to this herd of foreignness. We stayed in cabins and had a wonderful time with a DJ and lots of meat and bread. In the middle of the night, we had an impromptu bread festival to celebrate the Japanese belief that all English-speakers love bread. I woke up with a numb chin and good memories. I won’t elaborate here, as I’m sure you get the picture.
The next day, we went to see the Iron Man movie and I had the greatest dessert ever called Honey Toast. It’s the new love of my life. It’s half a LOAF (That`s right freaking HUGE) of Texas toast that has Japanese honey (which is less sweet and thick than American honey – more like a syrup) and ice cream. Together! Umm… When the waiter asked us if we would like more honey on our toast,, we said YES! Hell yes! He came back with a bottle and asked us to say stop when we wanted him to stop. THEN, he started singing

Boom Boom Boom Hachi Gato Boom. Boom Boom Boom Hachi Gato Boom. Boom Boom Boom Hachi Gato Boom.

By the time he got to the third stanza of this strange song, we realized that our bread was soaked in honey and said stop. We were so shocked that we just let him sing and sing. We had no idea what he was saying but it sounded cool. I tried to sing it to my teachers the next day and they thought it was great. The said it meant
Buzz Buzz Buzz, Flying Honey Bee. Buzz Buzz Buzz, Flying Honey Bee.
Apparently that dessert is famous in this area AND it comes with that song every time. WOW dessert AND a song, two things for the price of one; I’ll take it!
Forget cake, I want Honey Toast for my birthday and I especially someone to sing that song!

10 Things I Love About Japan

I love it when my students attempt to flip each other off and use their ring finger instead. I almost die laughing; I will never correct them.

I love it when I see a boy casually sitting on another boy, or boys primping each other's hair, without caring how it looks.

I love it when we talk about things in class like “Can you find a skiing snowman?” and it turns into “Do you like the dancing girl?” or “the swimming boy”.

I love it when I make sweet rice (rice, sugar, milk, cinnamon) and they act like it is THE SICKEST thing in the world that they have ever heard of. Then, I love it more when I make them eat it as an American Challenge. (One guy had tears in his eyes that he WIPED AWAY as he ate it.)

I love it that my students have no idea that they're carrying around towels that say things like “natural born sex pervert” and they like it because it's in pretty pink cursive script. It makes me wonder what kind of Japanese (Chinese) characters we are carrying around or tattoing on ourselves.

I love it when I bow in my car at people when I go to work everyday.

I love it when I fill up my car and can only say things in Japanese that I know like “Car…I am full…please” and now my gasoline man knows who I am and tries not to laugh. (The town office tells me that the gasoline man is my boyfriend.)

I love that I make an example Show and Tell presentation with a Nalgene bottle and the students are so interested in the example, that we talk about my water bottle for like 1/2 hour.

I love that all of the English speakers are starting to say Japanese English like "See you" (instead of see you soon or see ya or see you later) or daijobu (instead of ok)

I love that I got 2 more schedules this week. I finally figured out how to tell which days are "A" "B" "C" or "Super C", but now there`s apparently another "Super Special Schedule". So in total there`s 11 schedules that I have and counting: lunch schedule, random-schedule-that-showed-up on-my-desk that I don`t understand, 5 daily schedules(A,B,C,SC,Super Special), town office schedule(which has schedules for my elementaries, nurseries and adult class), my monthly school schedule, different weekly school schedule AND English school schedule. PHEW!

On Saturday, before going to a Japanese SARUSA BAR (salsa bar!! I am in heaven) Kate and I went to a karaoke bar and sang for two hours. OK OK actually, Kate was singing and I was playing the tambourine and moraccas since you all know I DON’T SING. I would choose the songs I wanted her to sing and we would switch off choosing songs. (It`s always fun to choose songs the other person doesn`t like to sing lol). I considered it my weekend study time because I practiced reading Hiragana when the songs came on AND I even ordered drinks in Japanese :)
Then at 11:30pm, we headed for the city since apparently the salsa club doesn’t start until 12:30ish in the am. We found a 24-hour parking lot, but it turned out that we couldn’t figure out how to work the machine. It kept talking and talking even though we pressed every button several times; we couldn’t figure it out. It was getting embarrassing because people were passing by and it kept repeating the sentence. I was convinced the entire neighborhood could hear it over and over: “blah blah blah onegaishimasu (pllleeeeease)”. SO, our solution was to get back in the car and try to find a parking lot with a person. So went next door to the next parking lot and pulled into this elevator-ish thing that we parked my car in. The attendant came up and pushed my mirrors in close to the car and said something, which we took to mean that my car was going to drop a floor down into the parking structure because he kept using a “down boy” dog command motion with his hand. He left and came back about 3 times with the same sentence. Kate and I were sitting in my car for like 8 minutes waiting anxiously while he asked if we were ok and repeated his question. I was so scared I felt like I was going to go on a roller coaster and we weren`t quite sure if the car was going to turn first, then drop, or go forward, then drop or what. In front of me were three flashing signs with red. Flashing signs in red can NEVER be good. The attendant finally came back and opened my door. He meant GET OUT OF THE freaking CAR!
We got out and immediately my car practically flew in the air on this elevator thing going UP so quickly. Kate and I looked at each other and started laughing because of the stress and hilarity of the situation. The attendant gave me a parking ticket thing and told me to come back. We went salsa dancing (which was awesome and MANY PEOPLE were so good at it. Surprise, surprise salsa dancing is big in Japan.) We came back to get my car around 3ish in the morning and gave the attendant my ticket. Somehow my car dropped down the elevatorish thing, the windows were rolled down….but I had my keys with me the whole time. I still don`t get it. The attendant totally thought we were stupid. We just laughed and then realized that the price was double what we thought we had read.

About exactly 2 weeks ago, the internet broke up with me. Don"t ask me how that happened. All I know is that one day the internet decided that our relationship was going too far and didn't want to commit. Randomly showed up again today but our relationship is still shaky at best, so please forgive my sporadic absences!Anyway, so last week 2 teachers and about 10 students from Kikuyo town's sister school in Australia came to Japan and Kate and I got to show them around Kikuyo. Believe me, it was OH-SO-difficult to HAVE to be out of school for a week and go sightseeing with the Aussies :) We went to an amusement park(where I noticed all of the Japanese girls wore high heels).I had pizza with corn and hot dog toppings. I saw a movie in the Japanese theaters for the first time (where you have to choose your seat before entering the theater). I went to a tea ceremony where we made samurai hats and wore them while drinking traditional Japanese tea (I don't think that was a traditional ceremony). I got to ring a huge bell and clap my hands and bow a few times. I practiced sitting on my legs and got to a maximum of 10 minutes before having to move. (I'm practicing for a 2 hour long tea ceremony that I one day will master while wearing a kimono).
AND FINALLY we went in a little thing called zorbing, that's right ZORBING. If you don't know what it is, google it and find one!I LOVED IT!! I think that was the most fun10 seconds I've had since I've been to Japan. What happens is you jump into a giant clear plastic ball with another personand then water is splashed under you with a hose and then the ball is pushed down thismassive hill. As the ball rolls you slide up the side of the ball in the water. Try thinking about how fun that would be....and then imagine the person bouncing in the ball with you is your co-worker. YEAH, talk about awkward. I didn't realize he and I would be wet together, in a giant ball trying not to touch each other but really falling all over each other screaming. That def made it umm, interesting BUT besides that, IT WAS A BLAST and I would do it again, preferably alone...or something, in a heartbeat :)

My Accent

Japanese consonants always come with syllables just like Oreos come with cream filling: ka,ke,ki,ko,ku, sa,shi,se,so,su. They always come in pairs. I don`t know why, maybe they`re lonely. Think about that for a sec. How strange and difficult would it be to chop a letter in half? That`s like chopping an atom in half. What would half of D or F or G sound like? Shopping(u).F(u)ried(o) r(a)ice(su).
When I say `Do you like to go to the park?` I hear my voice and it sounds like a chopstick gliding through soup, or a stone skipping across the water, making perfect circles: Do you like to go to the park?
I wonder what kind of Japanese accent I have. Maybe it`s the cotton mouth, where I sound like everything I say is muffled and has a hint of the words there somewhere do-you-ko-to-ze-paak. It could be the sound of a knife chopping vegetables DO/YOU/GO/TO/PAAK! Could be the ping of rain hitting metal do^youlike^togo^to^zuhpak. Maybe the sound of rich dirt or soup. MMM, from deep in the throat Ok.ok, I wheel go to ze park. Right now, I`m going for the accent with seasoning. It sounds like it has just a hint of flavor that comes out unexpectedly. Would yieou like to go to the parrk? Do you like schinnamon? I have two schisters. Just a touch of flavor, barely there, but enough to taste it and wonder.

Japan so far: Part II

FINALLYY!!! Look at this one first!

American Elections equals WORLD ELECTIONS

In case you didn't know, because I sure didn't, THE ENTIRE WORLD really is watching our elections in the US. I hear about it from my friends from England, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Scotland, AND Japan. They know who the candidates are and some knowthe different issues and viewpoints. The DNC in DENVER (woot woot) was shown on Japanese TV, it's on the radio, my Japanese co-workers want to know who I'm going to vote for. I've had a few international friends tell me that they think they should be able to vote in the American elections since what we do affects the whole world. Think about how crazy that is and how much power that is. Can you name the prime minister of Canada?Australia? England? Japan? New Zealand? Do you even know how their political systems work or even know that they HAD prime ministers? Did you know that Japan's prime minister recently resigned? Did you know that they are all waiting on pins and needles for Bush to leave (literally everyone that I talk to that's not from America)? They ACTUALLY care about what's going to happen in the US because apparently it affects them too....wow....ponder that

My answer to your question

I interrupt my regular blogcast for a commercial break.
Many of you have asked me where have I gone and what have I seen. So I guess I will have to write about that although I must admit I am much more interested in writing about cultural differences. So I will make a list:
1) Mount Aso – the largest volcanic caldera in the world. It has an azure blue lake with dry ice smoke in the volcano when I looked inside.
2) Kumamoto Castle- A 400 year old ninja repellant castle, yes that`s right NINJA REPELLANT. It was made with curved walls so that they could not be scaled even by a ninja.. This castle was on the movie The Last Samurai.
3) Suizenji Park- A really cool park with a fountain of youth, fountain of something else.
4) Suizenji Freshwater springs – Kumamoto is known for having an abundance of freshwater springs where you can actually drink straight out of the river. It bubbles up from the ground and many come and fill up water bottles to bring home.

I`ll send pictures soon. That`s all of the important things for now. Back to my regular program.

The Trust Fall

I can`t read (I don`t know kanji), drive (no car yet), figure out my TV (Japanese remote), eat with a spoon (chopsticks), or figure out my cellphone (it always takes me to Japanese sites); all of the simple things in life that I loved at home. I always have to trust that people are going to help me and I realized how scary that was today. Today, my second day of school, I tried to make coffee. The coffee makers here are normal, except that you can pull the coffee pot out in the middle of brewing and pour the coffee into your cup, then put it back to fill the rest of the pot. Now I know that this isn`t strange or high-tech, but if someone is gesturing for you to move a brewing pot of coffee out of the way and you don`t understand that the pot will stop, it`s a little scary. I got my cup ready to quickly stick it under the scalding coffee, and hope that it didn`t make a big hot mess, and it didn`t, the arc of hot coffee stopped for me. She KNEW what she was doing!! Of course she did. This kind of realization that people know what they`re doing, happens all the time.
Trust is a scary thing. I have to trust my co-workers to help me make the right decisions for cell phone contracts, bills, car insurance, how to throw trash away (mandatory recycling of 5 different types), how to buy a car and open a bank account. I have to trust that although people eat strange things, they are perfectly fine; they don`t end up dead or in the hospital. Although I think some Japanese food doesn`t sound appealing, I have to remember that they think sweet rice (rice, sugar, milk and cinnamon) sounds disgusting (I think I will give them a payback American (food) Challenge for all of their Japanese (food) Challenges). I have to trust that although the teacher`s lounge sink has no dish soap, everyone seems to be ok with washing trays and coffee cups with just water (It still freaks me out). I have to trust that although Japan does things completely differently from my own country, drive on the wrong (I mean left) side of the road, women aren`t equal to men, people eat raw food on the floor with sticks, and kids run wild, it`s ok. American kids shoot each other and that doesn`t happen here. Even though I see my female co-workers getting to work early to serve tea/coffee, rushing home to make dinner for their husbands, and walking behind men AND IT pisses me off, they have the power to change that, and they never asked for my help.
So today I realized that I can`t be in control of everything, sometimes I need to just close my eyes, take a breath, lean back and fall.

My first days of school

I am dropped off by a co-worker at Kikuyo Jr High (Jr high schoolers are 12-15 yr olds) at 8:10 am and I am greeted by the principals and teachers standing outside to say good morning to the kids, everyday. I get to my desk and look at the schedule for the day; there are A, B, C, and special C days. I have to ask what schedule we`re on. I also have a monthly schedule of activities from the Board of Education. I have a lunch schedule, a weekly school schedule, and 2 other schedules (I don`t know what they mean yet). I haven`t even started on my 3 elementary schools, 4 nursery schools and adult class yet. I will begin those classes in October. So as of now, let me count, I have 8 schedules that I have spread out on my desk like math problems. This week, I have 18 classes spread throughout the week, and THIRTEEN 10-15 minute self-introductions. So I am definitely busier now. I work with 4 English teachers, and about 30ish other teachers at the Jr High School alone. I LOVE it! I love being busy.
Anyhow, so at 8:10 am I arrive, at 8:15 – 8:40 teachers prepare for class or we have a meeting that I don`t understand at all. From 8:40-8:45 there`s a break. Then there are 6 periods in the day. I get off at 4 pm and go to the Board of Education for someone to take me to my apartment.
I`ve recognized 10 major differences from American schools:
1) Kids clean their own classrooms and the teacher`s lounge everyday after lunch. There isn`t a janitor.
2) Everyone brushes their teeth after eating.
3) Kids don`t move between classes, adults do. Kids have their own designated homerooms that they stay in all day long.
4) During lunch, everyone, kids and adults, put their hands together prayer-style and say Japanese equivalent of `Bon Appetit` and afterwards `Thanks for the food` together everyday. Each class eats in their own designated homeroom with their homeroom teacher always. They are expected to eat all of their food and drink all of their milk. AND THEY DO!!! WHOA! I know I didn`t when I had school lunch.
5) Kids are persuaded by adults to attend classes, but aren`t forced to. Teachers are expected to go to wayward students home and persuade them to come to school. Parents expect this and don`t force their kids to go.
6) Sometimes the older boys roam the school uninhibited by anyone. There are no hall passes here. Older girls hang out in the nurses office, claiming sickness. Kids are the same everywhere : )
7) Older boys ask me if I have a boyfriend, if I`m their type and how old I am. Teachers don`t tell them that they`re being rude here, since kids aren`t punished. The boys are the same as teenagers in the US : )
8) There is no detention or principal`s office. As far as American kids are concerned, this is probably a dream.
9) Bad kids hang out in the teacher`s lounge with the teachers, during class, and no one thinks that`s strange.
10) Everyone gets served tea at 8:30 am by the tea lady.

i think you can click on the pics...but dont quote me

My Top Ten Japanese Oxymorons

10. Why do trains/buses run exactly on time to the minute, yet getting the internet takes a month?

9. How is it that a Japanese diet is healthy, yet foreigners gain weight?

8. How can 40-year old businessmen drink all night, fall asleep on the street and go to work as if nothing happened?

7. Why is it that students are expected to go to at least two different schools 6 days a week, yet at those schools,students are allowed to roam the school freely and not study? (On that note, why are teachers more responsible for children than parents? A policeman will call the homeroom teacher for a crime instead of the parents. Parentswill call teachers and blame them for their children's bad behavior!!!)

6. How are there no policemen in the streets and traffic laws aren't obeyed, yet there aren't many accidents? In Japan, red really does mean drive faster and a driving test is done on an enclosed 'bumper cars' course.

5. Why are some toilets outfitted for space travel and others are holes in the ground?

4. Why can't I wear a shirt that shows neck cleavage, yet I can be naked in a hot spring?

3. Why is publicly picking your nose, falling asleep in the middle of someone's speech, hawking a loogie and slurping ok, but blowing your nose and not eating all of your food isn't?

2. How is it that kids grow up wild, without individual reward or punishment, to do as they please, yet grow up to bepolite, dedicated and contributing members of society? (Grown-ups will not tell kids no or stop. They are allowed to be as loud, rambunctious and violent as they want. I have seen it many times with parents AND teachers in school, restaurants and in malls; it's CRAZY!! Some restaurants even ban kids to take care of this problem.)

1. How is it that Japanese people are the ultimate work-aholics working 6 days a week from 7 am to 11 pm, yet AT LEAST 1/3 of 'worktime' is wasted in greeting co-workers, (I say Good morning, You must be tired, Excuse me, I'm back,and Good job today at least 15-20 times a day), making coffee/tea, going online, taking a smoke break and chatting? By the way, during 'work' we also shop, go to the post office and my co-workers GO ON FACEBOOK at work. No one says anything!!! I just can't do that, I feel too guilty. No WONDER it takes so long to finish a job.

Food Glorious Food

So much for not eating Japanese food. I've discovered that foreigners gain the "Japanese 15" because either A) the food is SO damn good OR B) because it is impossible to say no. Japanese food tastes nothing like Colorado makes you think it tastes. It is almost always a million times better.
During those impossible-to-say-no times, I am usually with my host family or Japanese host of some sort and I can't be rude. They serve me a ton of food, since I am the guest, and I have to eat the WHOLE THING regardless of whether or not I am hungry. A Japanese concept called mottainai (don't be wasteful)is ingrained in everyone, even toddlers, so I MUST finish everything. EVEN if I get a stomachache. It is INCREDIBLY rude if I don't finish.
I am always the guest and the first one to try everything so usually everyone waits for my reaction when I try something new. If I say "oishii" (delicious) then everyone is happy. If I don't say it, then people will be really upset, so on only a few occasions, have I said "ehhh....daijobu" (uhhh...[the food is]....ok). I could never ever say that something is gross, UNLESS they know that foreigners typically don't like a certain type of food like nato (green sickness with the consistency of snot), basashi (raw horse) or sashimi (raw fish). ONLY then I could make a face and say 'Sorry I can't eat it'. But heaven forbid if they counter with "Please you try. Japanese Challenge'.
AHHHH! I'm screwed! I can't ignore 'Japanese Challenge'. If they say that, then I HAVE to eat it to 'save face', another cultural pillar. If someone gives you a Japanese Challenge, you rise to the occasion, or risk losing something valuable, like respect. SUCH DIFFICULT choices I face: stomachache or rudeness. I always choose stomachache, and apparently, that's what other Japanese people do too. I am not used to eating huge meals all at once. In the US, I ate a little bit all day long, so it has been very hard. I am usually the last one done because I am trying to psych myself into eating that one last sushi roll by making room in my lungs and re-arranging my internal organs for yet more food. I'm also still not that great with chopsticks.
On those days, when I am pregnant with a foodbaby, I can't eat at all the next day. I know, I know, what you're thinking; that is SO UNHEALTHY, but I don't know what else to do, and until I can learn the subtle way to say no, I am stuck. So I am motivated to study harder on those days. BUT, my co-workers are starting to realize my dilemma and tell others about what they call "Cassandra's Eating Rules". They think it is very funny and a little eccentric and I am saved from being rude and getting a stomachache. If only someone would tell my host family, then they would stop making me eat so much...

My first enkai (Japanese party)

I had one of my many 'first speeches' last night at a 2 hour party on the floor of a restaurant. The mayor, public officials, board of education and principals of the 9 schools that I'll be working at, and of course Kate and I were there, sitting on the floor, in our socks, for 2 hours drinking and eating together (about 30 people). WHOA! I didn't realize it was such a big deal! The mayor spoke, then Kate and I made our speeches then there was a loud KAMPAI (toast) from everyone and THEN we could eat and drink. We couldn't touch anything until there was a kampai. At first, I asked my translator to explain all of the food to me. Chicken and jellyfish, cow internal organs and raw fish later, I asked her to please NOT tell me what the food was and I would just try what looked edible. It was actually... good. Ok, I didn't try the raw fish, but I tried pretty much everything else and it was actually really good, as long as I didn't think about what it was, I was fine.
If I thought about what I was eating, I would start to feel it coming up, so I concentrated on drinking sho-chu and trying to speak Japanese. The party was all mostly older men, of course, since women don't tend to hold positions of power, and these guys were toasted by the time our 2 hour party was up. Umm, yeah and I mean freaking TOASTED! So at the end of the party, we screamed banzai 3 times and raised our hands in the air each time. Apparently, this is an important gesture that officially signifies that end of a party and essentially means '3 cheers for ---'; but they REALLY do three cheers, literally. Then, in Japan there is always a second, less formal, party which is usually characterized by more drinking and possiby karaoke. This time, we went to a bar and drank and ate some more with about 8 old guys and 3 women. They tried to speak English and Kate and I tried to speak Japanese; we had fun!
I am probably glad that I didn't understand everything the guys were saying. But, this is still Japan and guys here DEFINITELY aren't as rude or pushy as some guys in the US can be.
ANYHOW, it was a blast and I wouldn't be surprised if some of them didn't make it home but instead fell asleep on the sidewalk, as I've seen a few businessmen littered on Japanese sidewalks around midnight. Then, they go home and get ready for just another workday by 6 or 7 am the next morning.

My long lost friend arrives

I have the Internet now, hooray, oh I missed you so much, my long lost dear friend. How does anyone ever survive without you? As soon as I got it, I started crying. Maybe that sounds kindof stupid, but the internet is the gateway to communication today. I couldn't really talk to friends, family or know what was going on in the world for a month. Imagine not being plugged in for an entire month?! For this generation, you might as well take away food. Imagine a car without wheels, or bread without butter or an Ipod without music. That's what it was like for me having a computer without the internet: pure torture and just unnatural. Well unfortunately I can't say anything more since I have a huge speech tomorrow in front of about 500 students and teachers... oh then another one tomorrow night at my welcome party with the mayor and some other public officials. Wish me luck! I will sleep well knowing that I am plugged into the world again and not floating off in outer space Japan.

Henna Gaijin

Gaijin: the not-so-politically correct word to talk about foreigners (s/b: gai-KO-KU-jin)
Henna: weird
Translation: You do not want to be henna gaijin.

All foreigners are asked tons of questions, of course, but some questions deal with very personal issues and border on ahem...outright rudeness (for Westerners). I've come to believe this battery of intense questioning is asked to test the henna-ness of each gaijin in order to place them into a specific category as a point of reference. This litmus test also helps establish a personal connection, cutting through all inherent henna-ness of each gaijin to make them seem more human (lol). The questions that I'm usually asked are very interesting:

How old are you? Are you the oldest or youngest? What is your blood type? What is your horoscope? Why is your hair black? Is your hair naturally curly? Do you have a boyfriend? Oh you're from Kororado (Colorado)! Kororado Rockies, blah-blah Ichiro-san is on that team (Japanese guy on the Rockies team and I had no idea). Oh you're Su-panish (Spanish) then you know how to dance? You must be very passionate.

Although I happen to know how to dance, I doubt that's a pre-requisite for being Spanish. Never mind my other races, lol. But this seems to explain why I have dark hair that's naturally curly and everyone is satisfied that allis well with the world since I fit in a nice, neat, organized box. Yes the picture makes sense now. For a scary second there, the world almost got flipped over since I come from the US and I'm short, without blonde hair and light eyes and no boyfriend...

Could it be? HENNA GAIJIN!! dun, dun, dun!Oh no, I fit in somewhere,I'm not an X-File, phew, close call!

On Foreigners...

Foreigners are like red flags in Japan, scratch that, foreigners are like neon flashing signs that are ever present and are a point of focus for both Japanese and foreigners alike. I even find myself unintentionally picking out foreigners like a Where's Waldo comic, wondering what are they doing and where are they from, and how long have they been her. It's so funny how quickly I can pick a foreigner out from a mile away by the way they walk, hold their head,and of course by the way they look (I'm sure I could pick myself out too). There are two types of foreigners: 1) Foreigners who realize they're foreigners and 2) Foreigners who don't.

Type One Foreigner always semi-bow or semi-smile at you as you're walking by saying: "Hey you, I know you. You're a foreigner, I'm a foreigner, I know what you're going through and I realize that although we haven't met, we have a lot in common. Ganbarette kudasai."

Type 2 Foreigner doesn't bow or lookat you, but if they happen to catch you glancing at them, their look says, "Hey, I don't know you, nor do i want to. You're a foreigner, I'm NOT a foreigner, I've lived here for XX years and I don't want to be affiliated with you outsiders. I am Japanese and I only associate with Japanese people (even though I'm a tall redhead and clearly wasn't born here)."

I don't understand why I feel that they are so rude when we don't acknowledge each other, it's not like it matters in any other country. Hmmm...

Anyhow so I was shocked to see the first other foreigner in my town of Kikuyo besides my Candian buildingmate. I was pretty much convinced that their weren't any other foreigners in my town. So when we first saw each other in the dark across the street, we just stared for a few seconds in shock.Then, Mr.Blonde dont-look-at-me-like-you-know-me practically ran to the back of the supermarket in order to not acknowledge me while I stared in shock for a few more seconds. He warned me wordlessly, "This is my town, and although you just invaded it, I'm going to pretend like this little incident didn't happen. So as long as you just turn around and leave by the time I buy my food, I'll forgive you."

I just laughed and told him in my head, "Ha, you just went to the bread/cheese section at the back of the supermarket. You are a foreigner just like I thought. Gaijin! Now this is my town, I renamed it K-town and I belong here too."

Chopsticks / Hashi

I am getting better and better. My hands don't shake now when I pick up something heavy and I stopped getting handcramps while eating (I literally did get handcramps by the end of week one) :) I'm practically a native! Pretty soon sympathetic people will even stop offering me spoons and forks when they see me struggle. I always politely smile at the utensils that they offer in all sincerity, and push them to the side and use my hashi, which I am determined to dominate. I will not let a couple of little sticks beat me into submission even if it takes me half an hour longer than everyone else to eat my food. One day, I will even be able to cut meat with chopsticks, slurp soup, and flip an egg...... at the same time.

Oops!

Today, I've learned to say "otskare sama deshita" which literally means "You must be tired" which is the English equivalent of "You worked hard today, good job". Apparently, what I've been saying "gochiso sama deshita" means "Thanks for the food". On paper they seem very different, but when spoken fast, all I hear is blah-blah-deshita. For two whole weeks every single day, I've been saying that. No one had the heart to tell me that I was wrong; Omigosh how embarrassing. How they could not die of laughter every single night is beyond my understanding. I laughed for like 10 minutes after I found out, and then they thought it was ok to laugh with me (at me).

BUGS!

The bugs here are UNREAL. Spiders as big as my hand, cicadas and roaches as big a my pinkie, grasshopper things (?) as big as 3/4 of the length of my forearm. It's scary and kimoi and I dont like it one bit. I killed a beetle/roach thing as big as my ring finger with a PAN since it was so huge and I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. It gives me chills even writing about it. If I see a massive hairy spider, bigger than my hand, I think I won't sleep for a month. I dont even want to think about how I would ever kill something as big as my hand. Japanese people don't kill spiders, which are seen as protectors, and Westerners are warned not to kill spiders in front of Japanese people. Spiders are simply "shooed"outside. My goal would be to shoo it right off my 9-story porch. Mission accomplished, cultural blow-up averted.

On Japanese-style driving

So it turns out that I need a freaking car. I was hoping against hope that I wouldn't have to drive for a year. That would have been SO nice. I have been studying Japanese traffic signs and rules of the road. No turning on red, watch out for trains, wild monkeys, pedestrians, the usj (as in usual)...oh yeah and one minor detail, stay on the OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD. It is pretty interesting trying to remember that you're supposed to be on the opposite of where you've always been.
Like when you turn on your blinkers and find out that you've accidentally turned on your windshield wipers. Or to turn right and realize you're suddenly on the wrong sideof the road. Or to ask what each Japanese sign means and to find out that no one knows. Yeah that's right no one knows what the road signs mean. I am totally generalizing and I am not trying to say anything at all about Japanese drivers. I am just trying to state a fact that after I asked like 5 people around my town office and host family about signs, they said that signs didn't really matter, or they forgot or that they think it means this, or that they just dont know why. In order to get a Japanese driver's license, Japanese drivers just need to pass an enclosed Lakeside-type driving course the correct way and voila you can get a license. That does present the slight problem of a course being vastly different from driving on an actual road. But this small setback is easily remedied by Japanese magnetic strips that all new drivers (1 year) must put on their car to alert all other drivers to stay away from them. According to many, driving is perilous business with drivers frequently stopping in the middle of the road for no valid reason (letting a kid use the bathroom on the side of the road). Pedestrians rule the road EVEN if your light is green. We were warned in three orientation sessions, above all never hit another car and never ever hit another pedestrian unless we want to go to jail, get deported, pay thousands of dollars and go to hell.There is a zero, that's Z-E-R-O tolerance for alcohol in this country (maybe this explains why medicine like Nyquil is not allowed) while driving or riding a bike. This means that if you drink the night before and ANY alcohol is in your system the next day you will be punished to the full extent of the law, deported, hanged and tried; in that order. This is pretty much the WORST thing that can happen. If you happen to be driven by the heathen that chose to drink and drive, you are guilty by association and will get deported and pay thousands and go to hell as well.
WOW, I am so scared.....not that I drink and drive, but what if I go out the night before and I still have it in my system the next day???.....I think I need an alcohol detector

My first speech

Here is my speech for my jiko shokai, which was a very important speech, edited and approved by three people so that I could speak in front of the mayor. Look at what they suggested I add to make it more interesting and Japanese. Some of these things just don’t belong in a public speech…..Enjoy

Hajimemashite, watashi wa Cassandra desu.　America no Colorado no XX kara kimashita． Watashi wa XX no XX daigaku wo sotsu gyo shimashita; senko wa kokusai business desu. Watashi no shumi wa sarusa dansu to Nihongo no benkyo wo surukoto desu; shigoto　wa　ginko de loan no tanto deshita.　 Watashi no tanjobi wa XX desu; ketsu eki gata wa 'X `gata desu; se iza wa, ite za desu. Watashi no　kazoku wa X desu; ototo ga　X　to　imoto ga X. Karera no namae wa XXX to X desu. Ima karera wa San Fracisco, New York to Chugoku to Denver no gakko ni iiteimasu. Watashi wa Taiko to sunobodo to miso shiru to Kumamoto ramen ga suki desu. Nihongo wa mada heta desu, ga, ganbarimasu. Dozo yoroshiku onegaishimasu.

Translation:

It is the first time. (How do you do?) My name is Cassandra XX. I am from XX in the US. I went to school at XX college in XX and graduated with a degree in International Business. My hobbies are salsa dancing and studying Japanese. My former job was as a loan officer. My birthday is on XX and my horoscope sign is Sagittarius. My blood type is XX. My family has of X kids; X younger brothers and X younger sister. Their names are XXX and X. They are currently in San Francisco, New York, China, Denver at school. I like Taiko drums, snowboarding, miso soup and Kumamoto ramen. My Japanese isn’t very good yet, but I will persevere. Please treat me well (I look forward to working with you).

Everyone is extremely into blood types (b/c it's kinda like a personality type) and knowing TOO MUCH INFORMATION about people. I thought I was going to have to give my bank account number, DNA sample and contact size.