To You

A Dream Deferred

by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up 
like a raisin in the sun? 
Or fester like a sore-- 
And then run? 
Does it stink like rotten meat? 
Or crust and sugar over-- 
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags 
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Just One More Thing

The nacho cheese was delicious. It was a perfect creamy texture. It tasted cheesy. It was not too think or too thick. It was too perfect. I had to add something to it. So I added taco meat. Then, I was scooping cups of water/grease out of it. Why does this always happen?

The chicken soup was good. Then I added lemon juice.

The pineapple upside down cake was good. Then I added pineapple juice.

The mashed potatoes were good. Then I added milk.

The list goes on and on. If I could just stop before the last addition, I would be a great *cough* cook :)

Japanese-Man Angel

Thanks, Japanese-Man Angel. 

I am pretty sure that's what you were. 

Stopping to help two stranded girls at 10 pm in the middle of a dark lonely road. 

What were you thinking? We could have been dangerous...Ok, ok. Maybe not. But still, you didn't have to. 

Did you know that you came 5 minutes after Alex ran out of gas? 

I know you saw our white splattered clothes outlined by headlights and wondered if we just jumped out of a trashcan. 

But since you're an angel, you probably knew that we just finished making a whale pinata.

 

You dashed off on angel wings, hidden by a car, and gave a gas present to us within 10 minutes. Afterwards, you filled the car and promptly refused anything from us, even gratitude. I was too shocked for words, Angel, I didn't even know what to say.

It was over before we even knew what happened. Before we decided to do something not so smart.  Before Ken could make it over with his fish tank tube to siphon gas out of his car since we thought all gas stations were closed. Before we ended up starting things on fire.

This is for you Japanese-Man Angel, wherever you are. 

I hope you know how I feel.

Honto ni, Arigato.

English is hard.

Why doesn't English make sense? Think about it from their point of view.  

Student: "Are you sick?" 

Me: No, I am not. 

Student:"Well, are you influenza?"

Me: I play baseball.  Student: "I play soccerball." 

Me: I play volleyball. Student: "I play tennisball."

Me: I killed the other team in the soccergame! 

Student: "I went to Nara to kill the team in the soccergame."

Me: "I like to play games at home." 

Student: "I like to play rollercoasters at Universal Studios."

Me: "I like to go to the mall." 

Student: "I like to go to home."

The Test

I sat down to take the test, thinking I was confident about it. I mean, I wasn’t stressed out studying the night before like everyone else. I was drinking chu-hai (think Zima) and making sure the 4 lbs Cheddar cheese I bought was full of ice and safe for my joint birthday party this week. I entered the 100-ish person room and was directed to the number taped on a desk towards the back of the room. Phew, good. As I sat down, I tried to think of the word in Japanese for WIN. But all I saw in my mind’s eye was MAKETA. I quickly tried to shove LOSE out of my mind and replace it with the real word for WIN…but I couldn’t remember it. Then directions started, so I tried to shake my mind free from MAKETA, holding tightly onto my mind unbidden. I looked at the clock on the wall waiting for the countdown til the test. No opening yet or I would get a yellow card warning. I was disoriented since the clock on the wall was about half an hour fast. How long did I have!? I need a clock, my mind screamed. But when I heard hajimemasu, like a shotgun I raced with my pencil across the test. After this first round of Vocabulary and Writing, I remembered the word for win; Katsu. Too late. Sigh. After a 40minute break, the second round of testing, Listening, began. Again I tried to envision Katsu, which came to my mind weakly. At the end of the test, I saw a roach crawling across the desk and into this girl’s long hair. The girl behind her shooed it away, I don’t know what I would do. Maybe stand up and scream, earning me the red card that would get me kicked out. For the 1-hour lunch break, a dozen or so of us Westerners (most people were Chinese, Korean or Philipino) ate lunch together and discussed the roach-infested room, of which about half of us saw roaches in various places skittering around the room. After eating pizza and looking for non-existent vending machines (ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS!) the last round was about to begin. This was the nikujyaga of the test, the meat and potatoes that is worth the most: 70 minutes of pure, unadulterated Reading and Grammar. I studied this the most, so I was looking forward to seeing what I knew. I didn’t envision katsu or maketa but I felt relaxed. The Alice-in-Wonderland-esque clock in the room, the crawling roaches and MAKETA makes me disoriented about how I did. I truly can’t tell…but we will know in February. Iyada. However, even if I don’t pass, I am glad I did it. If I hadn’t committed to this test, I wouldn’t have pushed myself so hard or learned so much, and that makes me happy. I shot for the moon, and hopefully I will end up somewhere among the stars. Or at least out of Earth's atmosphere and in outer space somewhere. KATSU!

Fun in a Mask

I stayed home sick on Monday (just a cold), so on Tuesday when I walked into school, everyone looked shocked. They thought I was going to be gone all week, because instead of plain sick, all they heard was possible INFLUENZA. But, they let me stay since I don’t have the flu, and I am glad because I want to teach! So I gave in today and decided to wear a mask at school, since I am sick and I want to give everyone peace of mind. Everyone is freaking out about the influenza. At first it feels like everything is muffled and unclear. After adjusting it incessantly for 2 hours, I think I finally got the feeling of it on my face. I think I like it. No one knows what I am thinking, because half my expressions are covered by the mask. I can talk to myself and no one knows that my lips are moving. I wore it in my car today and I can sing and no one knows that I am singing!  I even wore it home; I feel like I am being stealth; who am I? Oh, that’s right you don’t know. For you all you know, I could be Japanese! So cool, everyone should wear a mask sometimes. It would be cool to decorate them too. Like you can draw Twizzler lips on it, or an alien mouth, or perhaps use it as a halloween costume. I think I will have a decorate-a-mask-and-rock-it party for my birthday coming up soon! ;)

Grammarland

I realized that somewhere along the way, I fell off the planet and landed in a book. My Japanese grammar book introduces grammar through the lives of cartoon characters. I am starting to refer to Noriko and Maria by their first names (greeting grammar), and feeling sorry for Carlos who is in love with Noriko (expressing upsetness grammar). But Noriko is secretely in love with Peter I think because he taught (how-to grammar )her how to ride a bike. I was there for Maria's first job even (polite speech). Also, there is this mean little Japanese man who yells (imperative) Japanese orders them. I can picture it perfectly. It's like a soap opera and hopefully it will help me retain what I need to pass this freaking test! I have been studying so much, I almost forgot I was in Japan. I am in Grammarland with Noriko, Peter, Carlos and Maria.  Yesterday, Noriko tried to eat moldy bread (become grammar), and Maria saved her. It was so good, so good. You should come sometime to Grammarland. Carlos is hot (adjectives), and tomorrow is Christmas (5 senses grammar)! I wonder if Noriko will like him (expressing desire) next week?

 6 days til the Japanese Language Proficiency Test! Whoo!

I had a dream

I had a dream that one day I forgot my pencil, eraser and passport, so I couldn't take the JLPT. That's right THE Japanese Language Proficiency Test. It was awful. I woke up sweaty. I just thought you should know, since I never dream.

3,333 steps

I took a grammar break for a momentous occasion: To climb 3,333 steps. For all of the things I had to skip so I could study, I could not miss this. I did not prepare for it. No, no. That would have made it easy. I wanted it to be hard, almost impossible to do. The first 100 steps hit me like a ton of bricks. But it got better from there, as long as I didn't stop it was like I was in a bad dream, but a dream nonetheless. Got to the top, got a drink and went down all 3,333 steps and that was THE WORST. No more dream, this was a nightmare, that was real. My legs were like jelly at the first 100 steps. I told my jellyfish legs "GO" but they just wobbled. So I had to stumble down the stairs trying not to bend my knees. You can do it if you hold on to the parts where there's railing and kind of tumble down the stairs swinging yourself down with one arm then stopping and doing it again. Like dragging yourself by the arms and not really using your legs! It works! Then, for all our exertion; all 2 hours 24 minutes of it, I got a mini bag of rice, a towel, some handwarmers and a certificate with my name and time on it. YAY! I couldn't walk for 2 days and couldn't sit on my legs for a week, but I did it! See what no preparation gets you!

Today is Pocky Day

Today is 11/11. Therefore it's Pocky Day (like the little chocolate sticks) not to be confused with Pokey Day (like the hokey pokey). Why? Well, notice all the 1's in the date, don't they look like Pocky sticks sort of? Well, as I was unaware of this grand holiday, I thought I would enlighten you too just in case. A teacher went around and gave out chocolate sticks to us to celebrate....And then we ate them... And that was it..... 

Everyday should be Pocky Day! 

New Campaign

So the handtowel campaign is at an end, and now there is a new school campaign. The "Clean Desk Equals a Clean Heart" Campaign!!! I LOVE this campaign, it is too much! So everyday after school the teacher checks the desks, to make sure they are clean, and to make sure that the students take their books home every night to study! So the students are lugging this huge mass of books home every night, because this campaign will ensure that now they will study. I have noticed an increase of students that don't have books in class, but hey! Clean hearts are worth it I say!

New Kid

I am so excited! I am so excited! I am so excited! Ok, are you sick of the exclamation marks yet? SO, this kid from Korea came to my school. And, why should I be excited you ask? Well, he only speaks Korean and English. So I GET TO BE his translator. I get to use the Japanese I have been studying so hard for, for real. Whoo hoo! I escorted him to class, and I am in charge of him. I can't believe this....I am in charge of a child's every communication. And they want me to teach him Japanese as quickly as I learned it (not so quickly actually).  Of course, I do have my English classes and stuff that I do, but I am ecstatic to be in charge of making sure this kid goes through everything I went through over the past year starting with the 2 ABC's of Japanese, hiragana and katakana. Talk about deja vu, this is a great experience and reinforces everything I learned. I will test him by the end of the week, because I know what he should be capable of. He he he, and so it begins...I may be his worst nightmare, but he will be my greatest accomplishment.

My students won だいいち (dai ichi)！

So, every year there is an English speech contest in my gun (county), represented by some 12 odd schools. Us native English speakers prepare these kids to compete against each other, so it is a bit of a source of pride for all of us to see how they do, because, in a way, we compete against each other (of course, it depends on how involved the actual English teacher, school, etc etc is). At the speech contest, it doesn't matter; what matters is that your students sound as native as possible! Last year my school didn't place, and apparently, we haven't placed in a looong time. Anyhow, so the 3rd year student didn't place (big surprise, she only met with me once), the 1st year students were replacements for the chosen students (who got quarantined for influenza the day before the contest) had ONE DAY to practice, and therefore didn't place. BUT alas, my 2nd years stuck with me til the end and they got FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!! I was so proud of them. But now we go to the "state" competition! The principal couldn't stop talking about it, took our pictures, posted it on the front board, made an announcement to the whole school as soon as we got back, etc etc. It was pretty interesting to see their surprise when they found out how awesome I am...ahem.... I mean....the students are of course. Lol, jk, but really I am so proud of them. Their speech is from their textbook, about Americans and how we say nice things to each other as a greeting, like "if you have a new bag, I can say 'I like your bag'." It's actually a pretty funny speech, very entertaining. I didn't even realize that Americans did that, but yes, we do compliment each other ALOT.

Typhoon 18

Dear Typhoon 18 (aka Typhoon Melor),

I am so mad at you that I am going to call you Drizzle 18 (aka Typhoon Mellow). My work gave me the afternoon off to prepare for you and I was so excited to meet you. I got out my video camera, tested it, unblocked my view, took things off my balcony that might fly. I made sure I knew locations of dry food, flashlights, got water, etc. I did all this, and even considered filling my bathtub with water. And yet, you declined my careful preparation and decided not to come. Why don't you like Kumamoto? We tried to welcome you with open arms. Every news channel had reports about you. People were buying tape and canceling work, after-school activities, etc because of you. Numerous charts of your journey were being googled, printed and shown. Yet, you declined to turn up and go east instead. The only indication of your presence was slightly more wind. Not even rain. For this, I hope you pitter out soon, and thanks to you,  I will welcome your successor with much less fervor. I hope you're happy.

Forever disappointed,

Cassandra

Old-Guy-Who-Stares

So the rule intensive trash procedures have changed recently, as announced by signs that I couldn’t read. Apparently, the bags that used to be provided for me by the apartment building are no longer sufficient, but I must buy specific trash bags at the store from now on. Why this change? Who knows, but I am glad that Kate informed me of the change. Anyhow, someone I call Old-Guy-Who-Stares tried to inform me of the change and handed me a detailed paper explaining the new trash procedures. I took it as I walked by, saying I understood, refusing to be detained or risk being late to work by trying to communicate. Why do I call him Old-Guy-Who-Stares? Well, let me tell you. Old-Guy practices swinging a baseball bat outside every morning before I go to school. As if that isn’t reason enough to be anxious around him, as I drive out of the parking lot in the mornings, he stops swinging his bat and stares at me as I drive by. I can’t stand it. I feel like I’m in a fishbowl and it makes me squirm. Kate thinks I’m paranoid, but I hate him staring at me. I will not change my driving patterns either to go out the other way, just so he doesn’t stare. I just try to completely ignore him. Over the past year, we have exchanged awkward conversation in the elevator, when I happen to get stuck with him. Anyhow, so yesterday as we got stuck together again, he said, “How long will you be in Japan? It’s already been 2 years right?” (in Japanese of course) Haha! I answered that I didn’t know and it’s only been one year. Then, awkward silence commences until we arrive at our final destinations. I must have made him mad. But for some reason this makes me feel happy. Maybe he won’t stare at me anymore and now I can smile at him. I must be crazy.

Something Food

So we ordered something potato salad from the menu and ended up getting French fries on top of lettuce. We ordered kimchee something and got a bowl of chewy cow stomach with a little hot sauce. We ordered a something American dog and got a half warm sweet corn dog. We ordered a something pizza and got a pizza with a half-cooked egg yolk in the middle.You never know what surprise you're going to get when you order something-something, but it's always fun! When you want a surprise, order something+something you know!

Let's stop playing dress-up

I have been writing half-blogs for so long that I'm considering publishing each half to make an incoherent whole. I have so much to say, and yet at the same time don't. I feel like the half-blogs don't ring exactly true to what I feel, and so I have had a hard time finishing them. It's like this: I am watching a TV show with a guy who is popping (dancing) while twirling pizza dough at the same time, with the pop-up circles of 5 faces watching and reacting to what I'm watching in the background. As I watch, I realize that nothing is strange to me. Somewhere along the way, I have become "nihontsu", or "Japanese expert/lover" as my favorite school nurse said to me today. The teachers asked me if milk in Japan tastes different than in America. I said I couldn't remember. I have a faint memory of it tasting strange a looong time ago, as if it was a dream. It is hard to be excited when Jen (my sister, now a high school teacher) tells me some kid bowed to her or her teacher gave her a painting, it doesn't surprise me. I am glad that these things happen and she is having the full experience, but I can't share it with her. Of course he bowed to her, that's to be expected and more. Of course the teacher gave her something important, why wouldn't he? Although I have not even realized it, I have come to expect special treatment, whether or not I want it, which includes presents, extra attention, free things, etc. When I go to a cafe and the store owner takes us upstairs to see his special collection of Japanese antiques, I don't even bat an eye. Of course he does. Then he tells the teachers that I'm with, not to thank him for the special treatment, but Gaijin-san (polite word for foreigner) aka ME, as he pours us coffee like we're his personal guests instead of customers. I am mildly affronted, but I have not gone down the road of full-blown anger as some foreigners have, or full-blown conceit as others have. I crossed the road from guest to resident and it's hard to know how to react sometimes. Should I tell him I have been using chopsticks for a year now, so of course I can use them now? Should I tell him that of course I can say "Thank you" in Japanese, and I can even order food and understand too? But he is just trying to be polite and nice to the Gaijin-san, the guest, the foreigner.  I am forever the guest, forever special, forever different. I am tired of finding differences, I want to find similarities.  At the risk of sounding like a teenager, in short, I don't want to be special or talked about like a child, "How beautiful she is. What big eyes....long eyelashes..nice teeth... great accent." It half makes me feel like I should coo like a baby or do tricks like a horse. Some friends came to my apartment today to eat dinner together. As a couple of them were leaving they spotted a bill that had my name on it. They picked it up to inspect it and were very entertained by it, and in an instant, we became separated into Japanese friends and non-Japanese friends. I am smiling patiently awaiting their entertainment over a bill with my name. Just the usual. Of course it has my name, it's my apartment, right? But because of the way foreigners names are spelled, it looks strange on important things like bills, checks, signatures etc. My name is permanently in italics or quotation marks in Japanese, so I can understand their amusement. It's like I am not really a person, but a child playing dress-up. Let's play Japan!  I'll be "Sally" and you can be "Bob". Sometimes I get tired of playing dress-up. I want to stop playing "Kasandora" and just be Cassandra. But I don't know how.

TV Screen in A Bathroom

I went to a bathroom at the airport in Tokyo, and there was a TV screen in every bathroom stall. I couldn’t believe it, OIJ -Only In Japan! They were playing commercials. WOW! Can you imagine?

DPJ WON!

Yesterday was the Japanese elections and I, for one, am SO glad it’s over. There have been cars and vans driving around with megaphones on all sides of the car. They are like ice cream trucks on crack, blaring commercials for political parties that you can hear even in your apartment. It is truly that loud. If you get stuck behind one of these cars WATCH OUT! You won't be able to hear your music or even think and are in danger of becoming deaf. I saw them on the morning of the elections, lined up like sharks at the prefectural office, getting ready to circle their city prey with their huge white posters and fin-like loudspeakers. They drive around waving and playing these really annoying records of some lady telling you to vote for their party. I cannot ever see this happening in another country. If this happened in the US, I would be motivated to specifically vote against that loud annoying party. As a side note, it is interesting that most of the people I talked to, and I would say Japan as a whole, don't care that the Democratic Party of Japan won. They don’t think anything will change anyway. The other party, the Liberal Democratic Party has been in charge of Japan for the past 50 or so years, so it is actually a semi-historic moment. In Japan, the people vote for a party, and the winning party votes for a leader in their party to become the Prime Minister of Japan. It will be interesting to watch how and if Japan changes because of the party change. I have heard many people tell me they want Obama to be their president. Then they say, "Yes we can" ;) I don't know of a pre-schooler who DOESN'T know that line. Are you listening, Obama?

Sitting Test

I know this is going to sound really strange, but I have been building towards being able to sit on my legs Japanese-style for 2 hours. I want to be able to do a tea ceremony here, and for that I need to be able to sit for at least two hours without moving. When I first got here, I could only sit on my legs for a few minutes, then they would fall asleep and I would have to move them a lot. When we talk about this sitting style amongst our foreign selves, blood clots and circulation always comes up. But I am determined to conquer this sitting test; if they can do it and not die of a blood clot, so can I. Being able to sit on your legs for hours is what people consider part of the Japanese identity. It's kind of like this; one time this preschool teacher pulled back her eyes while pointing at mine and said "We're Japanese, we have eyes like this. Cassandra sensei doesn't, so she's not Japanese." She could have thrown in; "and we can sit on our legs for hours without moving, and she can't." (This is a generalization of course because there are plenty of people here that can't) Throughout the year, I have gotten through endless school ceremonies by watching the clock and timing how long I could sit on my legs. I am very thankful for the number of practice sessions I have had because of them. During these ceremonies, all of us women teachers watch each other out of the corner of our eyes and agree on an unwritten rule: the last one to move their legs wins. The first time I beat some of the older ones, I could see them watching me closely whenever we stood up to see if I would stretch my muscles or wince in pain. It isn't enough to sit on your legs for hours, you also cannot show pain or stretch. They believe that it should come as natural as using chopsticks for you to truly be Japanese. One teacher visibly moved her head up and down my body and said 'Doesn't it hurt you?" Nope. They are amazed at how long I can sit and are determined to uphold their view that only true Japanese can sit on their legs for hours. However, I am just as determined to shatter their beliefs. I can now sit on my legs for an hour and a half without moving. As soon as I can sit for two hours, I will celebrate with an actual full-on tea ceremony. I think I can make it by December ... that will be my final sitting test.

To Peel or Not to Peel?

I sat at the lunchroom table with the teachers, contemplating the 3 grapes on my metal plate. I was waiting for the grape eating to commence, and trying to figure out how to stealthily eat my grapeskins without anyone knowing it. They started peeling off the skin of their grapes, and I slowly bit into my grape sucking the insides out slowly. By the time they swallowed the grape inside, I had quickly swallowed the grapeskin. Grape One down, two more to go. They only eat the inside of the grapes, not the outside, so I always hear it from the younger kids who are quick to let me know that I don't know how to eat grapes. They pile grapeskins on their plates like animal fur. I wanted to see if it was possible to not be noticed. Grape Two, oh I was spotted, but not caught in the action, so I have one more grape to go with everyone waiting to comment. By Grape Three I lost my undercover status and drew it out in the open, and making a big production, letting everyone know it was ok to talk about it. We began discussing how foreigners eat the outside of fruits like peaches and apples. By the time lunch concluded, we came to the agreement that the skin on Japanese fruits are tougher and more bitter than their Western counterparts and perhaps that explains the reasons for peeling. There weren't enough grapes or I would have had them do an American challenge and eat the darned grapeskin.

Have Have-Not

Weeds grope anxiously
To reach the hanging pot where
Sleeping flowers lie

Can you feel me?

Deserted mountain 

reaches up to pierce the sky

and take its raiment

broken worthless car

why did you abandon me

when i needed you

never-ending days

my soul awoke to realize

it's the dead of night

snickering pigeons

teepee cities as they please

teaching their children

VoteforaParty

Yesterday the leader of the Democratic Party of Japan (DPJ) came to my town। Hatoyama is his name, throwing out Prime Minister Aso is his game. The Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) has been ruling this country for the past 50 years, but has recently lost voters because of the bad economy, bad leaders, etc. They are on their 4th Prime Minster in 3 years, and getting ready to vote for a party in August, who will then choose the Prime Minister from among themselves.
Why do you even care? The US and Japan are close friends, with Japan being the second largest US export market in Asia (China recently surpassed) and Japan’s second-largest import market (aka We sell our crap to them the second-most, and we buy their crap second-most). Japanese firms are the United States’ second-largest source of foreign direct investment, and Japanese investors are the second largest source of purchasers of US treasuries (aka They lend us money to buy crap like cars and houses). The following graph is very concerning, to both America and Japan since our economies are so interdependent. Let’s face it kids, we’re in a symbiotic relationship, and what happens to one will affect the other (aka, we’re married, so we should pay attention to what happens to each other.).

Japanese Driving

HappyOneYearAnniversary

              When we are not sure, we are alive. – Graham Greene.

Happy Anniversary!

ー周年[いっしゅうねん]おめでとう(isshunen omedetou）

As of today, July 30th, exactly one year ago, I flew into Kikuyo, Kumamoto from Tokyo and began my new life in Japan. I am remembering my wonder of a world full of fish and strange vegetables. A world where people with beautiful black hair live in paper boxes, contemplate nature and love cartoons. A yin-yang world of zen mysteries and contradiction, an ancient world of stoic warriors and a nascent world of technological exploits, living harmoniously together. Everything I dreamed was true and yet not; vastly different yet strangely similar.

I am recalling all the things that shocked me, and wondering if I would have been discouraged to know the amount of knowledge I would be forced to attain। Was there a time when I couldn’t read? Some of my misunderstandings came back to me when my brother Jake came to Japan for two weeks. I got on the bus, grabbed a ticket and in passing told him to grab a ticket too. He didn’t hear me, and was trying to pay a machine that gives out tickets. How could he not know that here in Japan, we pay after we leave the bus according to our ticket number? How else would we properly pay for the amount of time spent on the bus? Is that not common sense?

Being treated so well here, despite my social handicaps, makes me wonder about our collective treatment of immigrants in America. From what I know and have personally experienced, I have come to the conclusion that we have much to live up to in the Japanese treatment of foreigners.I have a tremendous amount of respect for immigrants in America, and immigrants anywhere for that matter. Many things that we take for granted (food, culture, protocol, societal norms, etc) aren’t what they seem and aren’t necessarily the best way of doing things. Something that I will take back with me is the knowledge that I don’t know what I don’t know, lest I think I am smarter or better than anyone else because they have an accent, can’t read, or have different ideas. When I meet an immigrant in the future, I will greet them as equals and wonder what cup of knowledge they brought with them, and how I can drink some of it.

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance. – Confucius

My favorite snacktime meal

It's edamame hummus time, edamame hummus time! 

Edamame hummus!

Edamame hummus!

Edamame hummus with a cracker pack!

Edamame hummus!

Edamame hummus!

Edamame hummus with a cracker pack!

Edamame Hummus

2 cups edamame 
1 cup tofu
1 avocado
1 tsp salt
3 cloves of garlic
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/3  cup lemon juice
dash cayenne

Blend for two minutes and enjoy with the above song!

Ｎｉｎｊａ Ｂａｒ

Enter the ninja bar and prepare to be surprised by stealthness you cannot even begin to imagine. We were escorted to a blind-enclosed alcove by a classic two-toed ninja clad server. The ninja server, when rolling up the blinds to our dinner hideaway, would shout NIN-NIN-NIN. When pulling the blinds down, would shout DOROM! I believe that those are the phenomime noises that blinds make when they are rolled up and down, but don’t take my word on that. The menu came in a scroll and our appetizer was ninja starーshaped bread, that came with dipping sauce. A ninja magician randomly showed up in our 3-person alcove to do a magic show which was actually pretty good. The best part of this ninja restaurant, was that the button to order more food was…drum roll please…hidden under the table. Wow, so apparently, this made the ninja atmosphere more ninja-y. A hidden button is sure to make you shiver in ninja glory. The server button is usually right on top of the table, so imagine the ninja-fying experience of having to touch the dirty underside of the table to find the hidden server button. To be honest, the thought of a hidden button being entertaining, is more entertaining than the button actually being hidden. OHH!

Ｄａｔｉｎｇ Ｐａｒｔｙ

Jake and I went to the volcano, blueberry picking on the mountain, etc etc, you know, the usual... yukata (kimono) party on a rooftop. On Jake’s last day, we went on a 50 person dating party, and surprise surprise, Jake was the life of the party, with girls screaming “telephone number, telephone number” and pretending like they were about to beat Jake’s girlfriend up. I have never EVER seen Japanese girls act like this before. It could have been the people that were in dating parties, or those particular girls, but it surprised me. One of the party organizers, drunk and entertained, “auctioned” off the seat beside me and would keep informal time, to ensure that anyone who wanted to speak to me got a chance. Opportunities for them to test out their English on a native speaker is apparently rare。

Ｈａｒｒｙ Ｐｏｔｔｅｒ Ｔｉｍｅｓ

Kate, being the Harry Potter fanatic that she is, reserved advance movie tickets at the local 7-11, for us to see The Half-Blood Prince. The $13 price tag was much lower than the usual $20, and the group reservation ensured that our assigned seats would be together. Japanese theaters have one rule: Absolute Silence. When I was little, my mom invented The Quiet Game, which was quite effective for 6 rowdy children, the quietest kid for the longest amount of time wins. That audience took the Quiet Game, added a Japanese twist, and took Silence to the 5th power. People chew the proverbial popcorn cud slowly and deliberately, with a massive amount of attention paid to not making any crunch noises. There is no way that anyone can finish a bag of popcorn in just two hours chewing time. Straw sucking is slow and painful, like someone with strep throat. When we entered the pin-drop silent theater, I was to be honest, slightly thrilled at the prospect of skipping stones across the placid sea of movie-goers. We show up, scream, laugh, giggle, jump and react in the way a movie was meant to be enjoyed, and in the end, we clap. Our 6 person clap was promptly drowned by the vast sea of silence. But we were still proud of our stone skipping. We left the theater and my Japanese friends were laughing as they came up to greet us. They said that although the theater was dark, they knew where we were at all times. They could have closed their eyes and found us using sonar waves. I don’t know how it’s possible not to react if something pops out at you; maybe that’s why Japanese movies are the scariest in the world. They need to be in order to elicit some sort of reaction.

Smartfm

I would like to officially thank www.smart.fm for helping me survive 8 long grueling hours a day without classes. Schools are on summer vacation, and I am at the town office once more, waiting for school to begin again on August 27th. Kate leaves on Sunday, so soon it will be just me in the town office for hours and hours of studying/preparing for classes and presentation/being on a computer. Smart.fm, you are my reason for being awake, giving me everything I need to be sufficiently entertained for the day. You are coffee in a digital world.

Ｊａｋｅ ｓｕｒｐｒｉｓｅ

Top 3 biggest surprises to Jake (that I had totally forgotten was surprising to me):
1) Women sitting in the backseats. The backseat left hand side behind the driver’s seat is a place of honor and you’ll often see women and their babies sitting in the backseat with the husbands driving in the front.
2) Men looking at cartoon porn in the morning before work, there is a surprising number of guys in convenience stores, getting their morning boost before heading off to work. If I saw anyone that I worked with there…well I haven’t.
3) The minimalist amount of water (shotglass size) that we get served in restaurants, which has led me to carry around my Nalgene bottle, wherever I go, if I even leave my apartment, this bottle comes with me. I am constantly thirsty here.

Handtowels

Today, the smell of a bathroom wafting down the hall sent the kids in a frenzy. Some begin frantically searching for their influenza masks while other searched for their hand towels. That’s right, the kids carry both around. Those surgeon masks that people wear around in fear of influenza, they carry with them in their backpacks. And the hand towels, it is considered unhygienic to NOT carry a small hand towel with you, as none of the bathrooms here have paper towels. EVERYONE in Japan, and I mean everyone, carries a towel with them everywhere.In fact, it is considered so important that there is a huge hand towel chart and graph displayed at school that is updated daily. This chart shows the classes that have all brought hand towels to school and the ones that haven’t. The classes that all have hand towels are announced over the loudspeaker. I don’t know how I feel about this, except that I do find hand towels useful in these increasingly humid days. I can also find other uses for these towels like wiping off my sweaty water bottle, covering things from the rain and wrapping things like my cell phone in it.

Hygiene

Yesterday, I spied my students’ little bags of basil and chamomile flavored toothpaste. Most adults brush their teeth at work (school and the town office), and at school, all of the kids brush their teeth after lunch everyday.
I never realized that I considered brushing my teeth a private matter, but trying to converse with teachers with toothbrushes hanging in their mouths, brought the issue to light for me। Brushing together while casually leaning on the desks introduces a strange intimacy that makes me feel like we are having a sleepover or something. Even the thought of spitting together in the common area sink is just too much for me to handle. I gave it a try and it just didn’t quite fit my hygienic style… ok well I tried it for umm, only a day, but that was enough to satisfy my curiosity. Ultimately, it’s the sound of hacking that kills me. Walk by any men’s room after lunch and you will hear the sound of intense lung expulsions. Smoking is very popular here so I think that may explain the big chunks of whatever is coming out of them. When I go to the town office in the afternoon, I hear a loud, from the back of the throat combination of coughing and almost struggle-like chokes. It literally sounds like their lungs are being vomited out of their mouths. Good　times。

Japanese Phonomime, Phenomime, Psychomime

How do you describe the sound of bubbles in soda? How about the twinkle of starlight? The sound/feeling of a stare? The crispness of chips or the sensation of steam on your face? How about the feeling of two people in love?

I swear Japan uses these sound/feeling words for everything. I say or hear the following words on an almost daily basis, when in English I would never say things like "stare sound" or my skin is "scratchy scratchy" or my stomach is making"grumble grumble" sounds or I am feeling "happy sound, happy sound". But anyone who has seen Pikachu's pika-pika sound, should vaguely understand the Japanese way of describing everyday sounds; sounds that may not have words in English. For example, when I say someone is fluent is English, I say they are pera-pera or "their English is speaking sound, speaking sound".

Jiii! My stare broke the shiin sound of complete silence as I watched  an old couple walking and holding hands. I thought to myself, oh rabu-rabu (love-love). Then, I realized that my own hands were kasa-kasa dry, I applied some lotion to make them nice and tsuru-tsuru moist. Suddenly, I whirled around guru-guru to the sounds of a dog’s wao-wao and a sharp tamtamtam of someone at my door. It’s almost midnight and I can feel the doki-doki pound of my heart.  Oh no, I realize that my room is bara-bara and I need to clean. So I quickly open my CC Lemon pop and calm myself with the shuwa-shuwa of fizz. As I open the door, I can hear the paku-paku of my friend eating. Then I realize my stomach is making peko-peko sounds, so I decide bring on the pati-pati crispness by munching on Pringles. Finally, I wash it all down with a big gabu-gabu of my CC Lemon. Then we relax on my fuwa-fuwa pillows, watch the kira-kira of the stars and hear the pera-pera of speaking.  Uki-uki feeling, niko-niko smile :)

Mountain Dew Bread

Today we had bread at school called meronbread. I wasn`t sure what it was made of, and I assumed some sort of melon (remember switch r and l). Based on our conversation, I concluded that we were talking about honeydew. One teacher asked, “Is that Mountain Dew’s, ‘Dew’”? Since the dew in honeydew is spelled the same and we were talking about the same thing, I answered with a yes. Mountain Dew Bread. Sounds like heaven to me.

Surprise! drink

If I am ever bored, I go to the vending machine, because it contains a free surprise everytime and that makes me happy.You never know what drink you’re going to get. You can buy corn soup, to hot chocolate, to beer, to yogurt, to banana milk. I was really excited to get a huge can of a drink called X (double the surprise), but it turned out to be black coffee which I hate! My friend recently got a can of jello. As she was attempting to slurp it out of the can, it squeezed in her eye. Orange flavored jello in a can. Oh man. Anyhow, I have gotten used to jello-ish things randomly in my drinks and one of my favorites is Aloe Vera chunks in white grape juice. Yummy surprises at the end of every drink!

Death Mushrooms

My co-worker approached me with a bag, so I thanked her, as I thought it was the normal humdrum bag of souvenirs that we get at school almost on a daily basis.  Thank goodness the bag was marked MEMORIAL so I knew not to be too happy and thankful about what I was getting. This package of mushrooms wrapped in a fancy box complete with a card was a gift because her father died and …still not sure why I get a gift for that, but hey. Perhaps it’s because money was collected for her father’s death from the other teachers (I usually have no idea what's going on). People get money for everything. You pay money to go to weddings (at $200-$400 a pop), baby showers, New Years (children rake in $100's) so why not funerals? According to Wikipedia, guests must bring $50- $300 to the funeral AND the average Japanese funeral costs about $14,000, the most expensive in the world. WOW! 

Rejection

So my trash got rejected. I made it for almost a year without getting my trash returned to me with an embarrassing bright yellow and red note stating why I’m stupid enough to think I could get away with not sorting it properly. It’s been a week since my rejection, so I am finally ready to talk about it. At first, I glanced at it on the ground outside the trash area as I passed by, and didn’t recognize it. But the more I thought about it, the more familiar it seemed. When I walked by the next day for a closer inspection, I spied an envelope in the bag that said “Sandoval” on it, for the entire world to see. Argh! 

Since all my refuse was exposed in a clear plastic bag, I just couldn’t bring myself to take it back at that moment. I don’t think I could handle the 10-story ride up the elevator with others seeing my naked waste. I was too embarrassed to take it back up to my apartment during the day, so I put it in my car and waited for night. Around 11 pm, when I was least likely to be detected with a trashbag full of rejection, I went to my car to retrieve it. Just in case there happened to be anyone around while I was taking it to my apartment, I brought an extra non-clear bag to hide it in. I felt like it was a dead body that I was furtively dragging back up to my apartment.

I kept thinking, ah, if only I hadn’t been lazy! Before I got myself into this debacle, I debated over that mandarin orange can for about 5 minutes while getting ready to leave for school that day and at the last second I threw it in, thinking, What’s one can in a bunch of junk? I guess if everyone in Japan thought that way, there would be a lot of cans and other recyclables in the trash.

I am a little nervous this morning for my trash, I mean I separated it, but for some reason I am afraid that it will be rejected again. I won’t feel safe til I come home today and make sure that it wasn’t rejected. Rejection isn’t fun, even if it’s only rejection of something that you don’t want.

Upon returning

So, hisashiburi desu yo. It's been awhile since I've written on my blog and I apologize but I've been editing videos and that takes hours! Some highlights of stuffing friends/family in a tiny 3 week box (drumroll please):

1) Saw my brother's graduation, godson's birthday and my siblings!

2)Was shocked that I wasn't the least bit reverse culture shocked

3) Bowed to people unintentionally, sorry it's a habit now

4) Argh! I am annoyed that I say sorry a lot more in English, I am translating from Japanese

5) Casa Bonita! 

6) #4 doesn't count, so #5 is that I saw my brother Josh's thesis on the impact of smells in choosing a mate

I loved being home and I miss it already.  I noticed some things when I came back to Japan. I got off the 23 hours of travel, stepped outside and inhaled Japan's familiar heavy, musky, sweet smell. It's the smell of an island, indescribable, but different. I am used to it now, so I can't smell it anymore, but I remember the feeling that came with the smell. It felt like coming home, back to my apartment, my kids, and my life. Strange, but it reinforced my decision to stay for another year or two. See Josh, I learned something from your thesis :) 

I was quarantined for a week in my apartment in case I had the H1N1 Flu and didn't go to any densely populated places like the mall. In fact, on the plane we were all scanned with infrared (to see if anyone had a temperature), made to answer a 10 question sickness test and every single passenger was inspected before leaving. It was ridiculous, I am so glad no one on my plane was sick, or I might have been quarantined in Tokyo. Oh Japan, you are too much sometimes!  A video will be coming soon to a blog near you!

Japan 2: Travel

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Japan Part 1

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A Japanese Christmas

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bite-size haiku

And how is Japan?
supercalifragilist
worlds squashed in my mouth

IM COMING HOME with a baby!!!!!!!

Wow, I can't believe I've been here for 9 months, enough time to have had a Japanese baby. In fact, my ability to speak and write Japanese was born here, so I guess I DID have a Japanese baby. My ability is still pretty much babbling babytalk, but like any 9 month old, I can understand ALOT more than I can express. And I always understand the emotional undercurrents, since I have had to become adept at nonverbal communication to survive. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited to come home!!!

Japanese Flag

The morning turns on gradually, like soft lamplight, in the Land of the Rising Sun, without any fanfare, and without the famous "Rising Sun" I expected. It's in the evening that the sun chooses to show its splendor. It doesn’t selfishly unfold its beauty in the early morning while everyone is still asleep, but it waits for the right time. It waits for evening when people are coming home and need to be woken up again and renewed from the business of the day. It is the Setting Sun that gathers up its light into a deep orange egg yolk to begin its long descent, becoming more and more red as it goes down. Just before it slides off the sky, it is the brightest orange red, getting ready to crack open on the other side of the world. Maybe it should be called Land of the Setting Sun. Is this orange-red egg yolk really the same sun that you see on the other side of the world?

The Twelve Days of Japanese Omiyage

On the 1st day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
A wrapped package of green tea.

On the 2nd day I realize I am going back to America
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 3rd day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 4th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 5th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 6th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 7th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 8th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Eight toilet seats a'warming,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 9th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Nine Geishas dancing,
Eight toilet seats a'warming,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 10th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Ten Samurais a'fighting,
Nine Geishas dancing,
Eight toilet seats a'warming,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 11th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Eleven sake bottles a'steaming
Ten Samurais a'fighting,
Nine Geishas dancing,
Eight toilet seats a'warming,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

On the 12th day I realize I am going back to America,
What shall I buy you by April 24th? I wander aimlessly,
Twelve karaoke rooms for singing
Eleven sake bottles a'steaming
Ten Samurais a'fighting,
Nine Geishas dancing,
Eight toilet seats a'warming,
Seven Koi a'swimming,
Six Yen a'falling,
Five cherry trees,
Four paper cranes,
Three sushi rolls,
Two mochi
and a wrapped package of green tea.

April Fool's Day

Although people don’t celebrate April Fool’s here, they certainly know the name. So when I arrived half an hour early to plant my jokes, unfortunately people were already in the office rearing to go, so I couldn’t get too crazy. (Side note: They are extremely busy at this time, since it is the end of the school year, the kiddies get 2 weeks off and then it is the beginning of a new school year. In the midst of this, the teachers and people in offices, mostly govt, are moved around to different offices around Japan. These mandatory moves are expected at a moment’s notice and could be hours away from home and family. Since Japan is about the size of California, effectively this is the government moving people from San Francisco to San Diego, or Sacramento to LA.) So I proceeded to stuff Kleenex into desks, open purses, jackets and shoes. Then I handed an exploding envelope (where a twisted paperclips jumps out) to everyone separately as they arrived so that all could get the benefit of their screams. I warmed Snickers bars and shaped them to look like “poo”, then put it in people’s coffee, on their desks etc. I poured salt in their tea and hid a scary-looking face in my supervisor’s open-and-waiting purse. Ok, A LOT was done throughout the day. You would think that they wouldn’t leave anything like drinks or shoes unattended. But no, they went on as usual, extremely entertained, but every time a new trick was discovered, no one searched their own shoes or desks. So darn trusting and gullible; I thought I was gullible! How could it continue to be a surprise!!! Nothing I did should have been surprising as soon as the first person stumbled into my traps I kept putting Kleenex everywhere throughout the day, in sheer amazement that no one learned not to trust….Kate on the other hand, wouldn’t touch anything I offered and didn’t leave her desk all day. She knew not to trust, zannen. However, I was happy when my trusting co-workers used my exploding envelope trick on the main boss. Yesss, after all that work I am finally leading them to the dark side!

Snow Flowers

This weekend I went to Kumamoto Castle for a picnic, celebrating the cherry blossom leaves as they flutter and swirl around like snow; soft cherry snow. Hanami is a special time in Japan, where the dead-looking trees bloom with color-explosion flowers, looking like the living dead, since there aren’t any leaves on the trees yet. Blooming flowers on a dead stick. It was so lovely, I can’t think of anything like that in the States; the closest things being Fall, when dead leaves fall off. When I saw Memoirs of a Geisha, I thought the cherry blossom scene was a dream that only movies could produce. But, these cherry trees are dumping rose-colored petals in the wind like confetti; like I’m continuously at a wedding or royal ceremony. It makes me want to shout, “Long live the King”. I keep thinking, there is no way that this is real, it’s like a dream.

What should I do with pigeon eggs?

I hate pigeons, I hate pigeons, I hate pigeons! Today I kept hearing pigeons outside of my bedroom window. Now this is strange because it's covered in netting to prevent pigeons from entering. I look outside my window, and low and behold, the little rascals found a way into my covered balcony. I shooed them away. A few hours later I heard them again. So this time when I went outside, but the pigeons weren't afraid, they just kind of hung in midair watching me. AAAHHH The Birds!! I got scared, so I grabbed the first thing I saw, a bike pump, stuck one arm outside the house and shook it furiously at them. They finally flew away after almost flying in my apartment, and that's when I saw it, DUN DUN DUN! A NEST!! They built a nest on my balcony AND it has TWO EGGS in it!!! I immediately went online to research pigeon removal while pondering: What should I do with these eggs? I have made a list of the possibilities:
1) Throw the eggs out in the trash. I don't know if this is the most humane thing to do.
2) Eat the eggs. Pigeon eggs are technically a food.
3) Let the baby pigeons grow, then eat them. My research confirmed that they taste like Cornish hens and are best eaten just before they leave the nest. In fact, they were once a popular food until chicken meat became more popular.
4) Let them grow, then make one of them my pet pigeon. I like this idea. I would call it Pete, Pete the Pigeon.
5) Put the nest outside somewhere and hope the parents find it. This might be the most rational idea.

Japanism

re-li-gion
Spelled Pronunciation [ri-lij-uh n]
–noun
1.
a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, esp. when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
2.
a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
3.
the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.

I’ve discovered that Japan is highly religious, contrary to what any study or book will tell you, and if their religion had a name it would be called Japanism, with the members being called Japanics. I’ve observed many outwardly religious acts throughout the year and I have finally come to some sort of understanding about the nature of this religion. Take yesterday for instance, the final day of the school year. The students were cleaning up the school (since there is no janitor), and before they started cleaning the teacher’s lounge, they stood in a line as usual and waited for the formal blessing before cleaning. The vice-principal usually says something to the effect of, “On the 25th of March 2009, the final cleaning of this school will occur. Let’s do our best!” I half-expected bells to ring and holy water to fly out of his hand. He is fantastic at making anything unimportant into a ritual demanding his ever present “blessings”. Oh, are you about to affix your official signature to some document or begin a class meeting? Let’s call vice principal over to invoke his blessing so we can begin, “On this day, the 26th of March…” To further demonstrate the Japanicity of everyday life, a formal gathering, of which there are many, is typified with the congregation sitting down in straight neat rows facing the altar (stage) on which there is a giant religious object (Japanese flag). Before someone ascends to the altar (stage), they must bow to the priest (principal) and deacon (vice principal), then the sanctuary (Japanese flag), bow to the congregation. Next is the formal sermon speech, usually invoking the “blessing”. Then it ends with the same ritual in reverse order for every person that ascends to the altar. At the end of the sermon, we sing a hymn (school song), which of course is formally accompanied by a piano and an altarboy/girl (student) who leads the entire school in tempo as a conductor . Everyone sings their hearts out in worship of the school and then we leave quietly. Throughout the sermon, if there is a child out of place in any way (murmuring, not sitting up straight, etc) he will provoke the religious wrath of the teachers who will swiftly descend upon him and heartily rebuke him. I finally understand why, out of all the formal events I’ve been to, people would rather attend the formal ceremonies and fall asleep during the sermon, than not attend at all. Don't be fooled, Japanism is the heart and soul of this country and Japanics are zealous in their religious observances.